


Remember to Breathe

by imaginentertain



Category: Days of Our Lives
Genre: Fix It Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-07-28 11:18:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 33,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7638028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginentertain/pseuds/imaginentertain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One breath at a time: in, out.  One moment at a time: tick, tock.</p>
<p>Will survives the attack by the Necktie Killer but with no memory of what happened to him.  Hiding in Paris with Sonny they face the pressures of whether they can rebuild their relationship, whether Will can remember what happened to him, and what will happen to them if/when he does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was planned out when it broke that Will was being killed off. Sorry it's taken me so long to get it done and get it posted. Hope you think it was worth the wait.

Sonny checked his bag for what was probably the hundredth time since he sat down. He needed something, anything to focus his mind, to keep it from drifting over the nightmare that had been the last week. The call, the flight home. The funeral.

None of it seemed real, but the hole in his chest certainly felt real enough. The ache had settled into a dull roar, only flaming up when he thought of Will (which was pretty much every two minutes) or when he realised he was never going to see him again (which happened about five seconds after the first thought) or when he tried to imagine his life now that he was a wi—

The word cut itself off in his brain, as if somehow he couldn't accept his new reality. That was not a word he was supposed to be using. Sonny Kiriakis. Son, nephew, great-nephew, cousin, friend, boss. Husband, father. Not that. Not in his twenties. Not with so much life and promise and—

He checked his bag for the hundred and first time, checking that his passport hadn't moved since the last time, that he'd changed out the last of his dollars for the Euros he'd need on the other side, that something in his life was as it should be and two minutes after the last thought of Will the new one came along and that dull pain roared into life.

Partly frustrated, partly angry, mostly hurting, Sonny ran his hands down his face. It was weird how at one point he was so used to his ring that he didn't really notice it, but now the metal was a weight. An anchor.

(OK, that wasn't fair. It hadn't been two minutes.)

He was saved from his thoughts by an airport staff member approaching him. He was vaguely aware of confirming his name to her, and agreeing to follow her once she'd reassured him everything was mostly likely OK as she'd just been told to take him somewhere private rather than anything else. So he followed her, his anchored hand gripping tightly around his bag strap, and he'd breathed through the traitorous pain in his chest.

Whoever Sonny had expected to be in that room, Rafe wasn't exactly high on the list. As soon as he did see him Sonny's head filled with so many questions and scenarios: had they caught him? was it Chad? was this all a huge misunderstanding and he wasn't really a wi—

"Can I trust you?" Rafe asked.

"What?"

"I need to know I can trust you. Really trust you."

Sonny shook his head. "I don't know, Rafe. I helped raise your niece for two years. I tried to protect Gabi when she was being threatened and I fought for Will when he wanted to take the blame for Nick's murder. Is that enough to earn your trust?"

"It's _because_ of Gabi and Ari I'm asking."

"Are they OK?" Sonny asked, fear suddenly bringing a new pain to his chest.

"Of course they're not," Rafe said, "not after… but I need you to trust me and to not say anything to them, no matter how much you might want to."

"Rafe, I'm lost and I'm going to be late for my flight if—"

"My sister found him. She wakes in the middle of the night trying not to scream so she doesn't wake Ari. Ari keeps asking for Will and every time she has to explain that her daddy isn't coming back. They are going through the worst kind of hell anyone can go through and because I love them I want to make it better."

"I want that too," Sonny said. "I would do anything—"

"That's what I'm worried about," Rafe said.

Sonny shook his head. "I'm going back to Paris. I'm hardly about to launch a one-man vigilante hunt. And I don't think you need to worry about Uncle Vic, Will wasn't exactly top of his Christmas card list."

"This isn't about that either."

"Then what the hell is it about, Rafe? Because I am just about done here. This last week… these last few _months_ have been the worst of my life and I can't even stay here because I see him everywhere. It is taking every scrap of what little strength I have left to walk away, to leave Arianna, because I don't know how I will survive if I don't. If I stay here and see him everywhere I go. I'll drown in that pain and I can't deal with it. So if this is about me leaving Gabi and Ari when they need me—"

"No, actually I need you to stay away—"

"Fine," Sonny snapped, grabbing his bag from the floor. "I'll go, leave them to try to get over Will while I figure out how the hell I'm supposed to even breathe without him."

"Can I trust you to stay away? To not talk to them? To tell them?"

"Tell them what? You're talking in riddles and I just _can't deal with this_!" he yelled, his voice almost breaking off into a sob at the end. "What is it you want to trust me with and then I can agree to it and get on that plane and we can all just go back to figuring out how to get on with our lives." He stopped and took a deep breath as if to calm his nerves, or steal his courage. "Just tell me why you're here, Rafe."

"To find out how much I can trust you."

"You trusted me with your sister and niece. What more is there?"

Rafe didn't answer, just turned his head slightly to one side. "A lot," he said past Sonny's shoulder. "I trust him."

Sonny followed Rafe's gaze to the person who had emerged from the other doorway to the room.

"I trust him too," Will said softly.

~~~

He'd turned down the chance to see Will. As husband, as next of kin, that was his right. He could have seen him, said his goodbyes, but he couldn't bear it. He couldn't bear his last memory of Will being something so lifeless, so cold. Something that wasn't the man he had held, loved, given his heart to. The lips he kissed were warm and soft. The eyes he held were a blue he'd never seen anywhere else in this world. The hands that held him, touched him, they were warm and supple and moved in ways that showed an understanding of his body beyond words.

What lay on that slab, in that box, was not the man he loved.

But this was.

"Can we have a minute?" Will asked Rafe, his voice still soft and quiet.

"We're kinda on a schedule here, Will. He can't be late for his flight."

"He won't be. One minute."

Rafe sighed. "Not like I can leave, is it? Supposed to be just me and him talking."

Will looked back at Sonny who was still staring at him, and he shrugged. "I know you must have a million questions, and I promise that I will answer every single one of them, but right now we need to ask you something."

"Will's not safe here," Rafe said, "and clearly no one else knows he's alive. Only reason to attack him is because he found out something the killer didn't want him to."

"I don't remember anything of that day," Will said. "But if they tried once they could try again, come after me and those I'm close to."

"I want to get him somewhere no one can find out he's alive until we're ready, until Will remembers something that will help us. But it needs to be somewhere he is safe, where someone's there with him, someone I trust."

Will, who had been watching Sonny this whole time, half raised his hand to signal Rafe to stop talking. He held Sonny's gaze, let the moment linger for a moment before he whispered, "Hi."

"Hi," Sonny managed to whisper back.

"You OK?"

"I… have no idea," Sonny said with a half laugh. "Are you?"

Will gave his own soft laugh. "Throat's sore, voice is a little croaky, and my brain is a bit scrambled from everything. But this doc that Rafe got me to is good at this stuff. He says it's all there, it's just because of everything I'm suppressing it. Common in trauma victims."

"But other than that?"

"Other than that, I'm fine."

"Good," Sonny said. And with that he moved clear across the room and flung his arms around the warm and solid and breathing and _living_ man. "God, Will…"

"It's OK," Will whispered, "I'm OK. It's OK."

"Not to rush you, but we are on the clock here. Your flight is due to leave soon, Sonny, and no one knows what's going on in here. Anything too long and it'll be hard to explain why you and I were talking for so long."

"Yes," Sonny said, still holding on to Will. "Yes. Paris. Yes. Paris, with me. Yes."

"You know I won't be on the jet with you, right?" Will said. "Think that might get back to your uncle."

"It'll take me a few days to get Will out of the country," Rafe said. "I have a friend in Europe, owes me more than a few favours. He'll be in touch when it's time."

"Gives me time to find a place," Sonny said, pulling back from the embrace and resting his forehead on Will's. "I'm living in a hotel at the moment, not exactly easy to hide someone."

"Just make sure that no one who could recognise him will see him," Rafe said. "It's important that everyone still thinks he's dead."

"Even your mom?" Sonny asked Will.

"Yeah, that one will be fun."

"You sure you want to do this?" Rafe asked.

Not taking his eyes off Will for one moment, Sonny nodded. "Very."

"OK. You have a flight to catch."

When Sonny made no attempt to move, Will laughed. "It's a few days. I'll see you soon."

"You really need to get going," Rafe said. "Anyone asks you and I were talking about Chad. You're sure it's not him, I wanted to find out why."

Sonny took half a step away from Will, but then seemed to make up his mind and turned back. He pressed his lips to Will's just once, just briefly. A kiss with promise.

"A few days," Will whispered.

"OK," Sonny said.

"Now go. Before someone comes looking for you." Will half-pushed him away and turned towards the exit he'd come through.

"And not a word," Rafe reminded. "Although…" Without warning he slammed his hand into Sonny's stomach, winding him and bringing tears to his eyes. When he looked up and saw Will's expression of horror he held his hands up in surrender. "He looked happy," he defended. "He just buried his husband and he's walking out of here on cloud nine. Tell me that's not suspicious."

Sonny steadied his breath and wiped his eyes. "Don't think I won't return that favour," he warned.

"Look forward to it," Rafe grinned. "Safe flight."

~~~

It was easier than he'd thought. Moving out of the hotel was simple – he'd had enough of room service and living pretty much out of a suitcase. The two bed roomed apartment was simple, elegant. Commuting distance from the clubs and casinos, but not so close that people could just "drop by". Not that many of them knew Will by anything other than name, but any risk was too great a risk.

The knowledge that Will was alive and well and on his way filled every crack and gap in Sonny's entire body. The parts of him that had been broken so long that he didn't even know they were broken. Everything wasn't OK; the logical part of his brain knew that. There was still so much to deal with even without the situation of having to hide the truth from everyone who loved them. But the knowledge that seeped and poured its way into Sonny's soul was the whisper of hope, of potential. Because now they could be what they were supposed to be.

He spoke with his parents once after returning, but not before spending an hour in front of the mirror perfecting his sad face for the video call. He was certain that his mother would read his face and see the truth on it. Except she didn't (or at least she didn't say anything if she did) and they talked about nothing in particular. Sonny asked after Arianna, made them promise to keep an eye on her.

"She's still your grandchild," he reminded them. "In a way."

"She's still your daughter," Adrienne agreed, "so of course."

Sonny had no idea how Rafe's friend would be in touch so he became obsessive over ensuring that his phone was fully charged, that his email account was always refreshing, and even though he wasn't due back in work until the next week (Victor's insistence that he take some time for himself) he left clear and firm instructions that ANY personal messages left for him be relayed immediately.

He never expected something as mundane as a letter.

At first it confused him why he was getting literature from a hotel in Le Havre, but when he opened it his eyes widened.

_Mr Kiriakis,_

_As requested, please find written confirmation your booking at Pasino Le Havre for the date(s) below. If you require anything else then please do not hesitate to contact us._

Printed below was a date two days from now.

Will was almost here.


	2. Chapter 2

The taxi dropped Sonny at the foot of the stone staircase, and in his haste and excitement Sonny paid the man almost double the fare. Ignoring the babbled Franglais of thanks, he pushed the door shut and stared ahead at the glass covered entrance. Taking a deep breath, and clutching the strap of his rucksack nervously, he resisted the urge to run up the steps, into the building, and demand access to his room right away. He had no idea if Will was already here, or if there was something else to come.

Inside it was bright, warm and the open space felt comforting somehow. He walked up to the desk and gave his name.

"Ah yes," the woman said in her soft accent, "everything has been settled by your associate who has brought your bags to your room as per your request…"

Sonny tried to stay focused on the instructions of how to get to his room, swallowed hard to keep his heart in his chest, and smiled politely when she bade him to enjoy his stay. Once out of the elevator the corridor seemed to stretch for miles ahead of him, the door to his room (their room) almost moving away from him with every step.

But it wasn't and soon he was stood in front of the room which matched the number on the card which came with the key card that opened the block of fire duty wood that stood between him and Will and for a moment he wondered if he should knock, alert Will to his arrival? But unable to wait any longer he swiped the card and pushed open the door.

Sitting on the bed was a man who was very much not Will.

"More secure this way," not-Will said in a British accent. "This is your room; I will be you for the night. Housekeeping will expect to see evidence of someone being here, I'm that someone."

"Will—"

"Is waiting," the man said, holding out another key card. "You have two nights. Tomorrow I, as you, will check out and then I'm done. Will has my details for when he needs to make the return trip."

"Thanks…" Sonny said, trailing off when he didn't know what to call the man.

"Word of advice," not-Will said. "The whole trip here he's been doing these memory exercises his therapist gave him. He's desperate to remember what happened to him and it's stressing him out. So don't push him, don't encourage him to push himself. I've seen this kind of thing so many times and if the memories are going to come back then they'll do it just fine on their own. You'll be lying on the sofa together and then _bam_ , floodgates open, memories everywhere. You can't pressure him into remembering, chances are you'll do more harm than good." 

"I understand," Sonny said.

"You love him?"

"What?"

"Will. Do you love him?"

"Of course I do," Sonny said, his voice clear and confident.

"Good. Because he's crazy about you and I swear I was this close to throwing him overboard on the boat over because he was that damn excited. He says he screwed up but this is his chance to sort all that out, but if you're doing this because you feel you have to—"

"I want to," Sonny cut across. "I love him. More than anything or anyone, I love him."

"Not sure he knows that. Might be an idea to tell him."

"Might do just that," Sonny said, holding up the new key card. "Thank you."

"See you," not-Will said, ushering him towards the door. "Go, have fun while I raid the minibar on your tab."

Sonny didn't care; he just turned back towards the elevator and punched in the top floor for the suite number on the new card. This time there was no hesitation, no waiting, no nerves, and when he got to the door he was all ready to swipe the card but it was pulled open before he could.

And there was Will.

His Will.

Alive and breathing and smiling and eyes fixed on his.

And without another second's hesitation Sonny pressed forward, his hands on Will's chest to push him back against the wall as their mouths met, the door kicked shut behind them and for the first time in too long Sonny felt like he was home.

~~~

The simple message showed on the screen of the phone that Will had been given, a phone with one stored number that he would use only once more. The one word message – HERE – was enough to tell Will that Sonny was on his way up. He moved to the door, standing by the peephole to be on the lookout for any movement. The too-brief moment in the airport had given Will hope that they could be as they were, that maybe they could fix their marriage and be happy again. But on the long and circular route to France the doubt had started to creep into Will's mind.

Sonny had been grieving, had just buried his husband… what if that kiss had just been instinctive? What if it was just a sign that Sonny cared, but what love he had felt was just as buried as that empty box? Now that he'd had time to think about things he could have changed his mind, realised that all the mistakes Will had made, all the hurt that he had caused, was just too much.

Will could stay in Paris, he could recover, but that would be all.

When he heard footsteps in the hallway he pressed his eye to the peephole and waited. As soon as Sonny came into view he pulled open the door, desperate to know one way or the other.

And he got his response when Sonny kissed him, held him, and refused to let him go.

He stumbled back against the wall but Sonny didn't stop moving until they were flush against each other, their bodies moulding to the other in a familiar manner. Sonny held his face and kissed him, over and over, deeper and deeper, until Will didn't know if his head was swimming due to oxygen or Sonny.

It took a beat for Sonny to register where the bed was before he started to pull Will away from the wall and towards it. His hands were at the hem of Will's shirt and tugging it up when he finally managed to put some distance between them.

"Wait, wait, wait," he said, panting softly.

"Will—"

"No, I need to say this. I've been practicing this for days so… let me." When Sonny nodded he continued. "I know we're not OK. We weren't OK. And I know that this isn't a magic fix. But I want to put things right between us, I really do. I know it was my fault, I know I screwed up… but I love you. I always have, always will. And I want this to be a new start for us."

The memory of that voicemail replayed in Sonny's head, and he had to fight it away, focus on the living and breathing and contrite soul in front of him. And he smiled.

"I love you," Will repeated.

"I love you too," Sonny said. "And I know this doesn't fix us but for this weekend can we just… pretend?" He reached out and pulled Will back within his breathing space. "I missed you. And not I'm not just talking about when I thought you were…" The word hung unspoken between them. "I missed my husband."

"I missed you too," Will breathed and then kissed him again and again, leading and being led to the bed where they fell onto the soft mattress and set to rediscovering each other once again.

~~~

"You know what?" Will said, his fingers tracing soft lines down Sonny's arm. "I missed this."

"I missed it too," Sonny laughed.

"No, I mean… this. Us. Like this. I missed this the most."

"Really?" Sonny asked, shifting so he could look at Will. "More than that thing where we…"

"Oh that's not fair," Will said. "But I still missed this. Being here with you. Like this. Us. Together."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Ever since the first time. Not that I don't love… _being_ with you, but it's being with you, like this. You and me on top of each other, wrapped around each other. Sometimes it makes me think that we're parts of a whole, the way we fit, the way we are."

"You are a part of me," Sonny said, lacing his fingers with Will's and pressing the palms of their hands together. "You're my heart."

"What was it like?" Will asked. "I mean… that week…"

"Painful," Sonny decided on. "But it doesn't matter now," he added, shifting again to kiss Will.

"God knows what Mom and Dad are going through. They'll hate me when this is over."

"No they won't. They love you, they'll understand."

"Did you just say that Sami Brady will 'understand'?" Will laughed. "They'll hate me; they'll really hate Rafe… And what about Ari? Rafe told me she was at the funeral; I don't want her to remember that. When this is over and we're home, I don't want her remembering that she was at my funeral."

"She might not," Sonny said quietly. "And even if she does you'll be there with her. She'll understand. They all will."

"I hope so. I just… I need to remember what happened that day. I remember leaving the apartment before Gabi woke up. I'm told I dropped some stuff off at Abby and Ben's, but I—"

"Hey, don't push yourself. It'll come to you, you'll remember."

"You think?"

"I know."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I'm sure about you," Sonny said. "The man I know, the man I love is so determined and driven and he can do anything he sets his mind to."

"I hope so," Will said quietly.

"Just give it time."

"The longer it takes, the longer this guy gets away with what he did. The longer my family suffers."

"Will, enough," Sonny said. "It'll be OK. I promise."

"I just—"

"Enough," Sonny said again. "We can't change what's happened; we can only deal with how we go on from here."

"And where do we go?"

"We… go to this apartment I've found in the eighth district."

"Arrondissement," Will corrected. "Switzerland shares a border with France," he explained. "Lots of trips."

"It's private, just ours. It's not far from the Arc, short walk to the river."

"Sounds wonderful."

"It will be. When we make it ours."

"I know Rafe and I put you on the spot at the airport but—"

"I'm not doing this because I have to. Seeing you… You know why I was leaving Salem? Because I couldn't stand being there without you. I saw you; saw us in every single place. Where we first met, first kiss, dates and moments and our whole lives together. And not having you there… not having you with me?" he said, running a finger down Will's cheek. "I couldn't do that. I can't do that. I want a life with you, Will."

"Even now?"

"Especially now. I lost you once; I'm not losing you again."

"I will make things right. What I did, what happened—"

" _We_ will," Sonny said. "There are two of us in this marriage."

"I don't think we're actually married anymore," Will said. "I mean, I'm… dead."

"OK, that word is banned," Sonny said. "You are not… You're here. You're with me. And you will _always_ be my husband. OK?"

"OK," Will whispered.


	3. Chapter 3

Throughout the train ride back to Paris the two of them spent their time stealing glances at the other and grinning like children. Will's cap was pulled low over his face, darkening the blue eyes which were fixed on Sonny. They were left alone for the three hours of the journey, doing little else but watching the scenery go by, watching the other, locking their ankles together under the table.

"It's not that far from the station," Sonny said, "maybe half an hour's walk? We could get a cab but Paris traffic isn't known for its speed."

"I don't care," Will said as he watched the beginnings of Paris speed past them. "I just want to go home."

"Home," Sonny smiled.

"What are you going to tell people?" Will asked. "You won't be able to keep the fact that I'm there secret from everyone."

"Two bedrooms, remember? You're my lodger."

"Since when did a Kiriakis need a lodger?"

"Since my family insisted that I not be alone," Sonny said. "Since coming back everyone at work has been all but falling over themselves to 'be there for me'. I had so many offers of dinners and nights out and company and shifting boxes that it's a wonder I managed to get away alone.

"So if they know I have a lodger it might just convince them to leave us be."

"Do they… know me?"

"No," Sonny admitted. "I was angry when I came out here. I didn't have any pictures of you because I didn't want to see your face." When Will looked away, his cap hiding more of his face, Sonny rushed to put it right. "It was just the anger, Will. It wasn't because I didn't love you, it was never that."

"But you were angry at me because of everything I did."

"Will—"

"No, it's OK," he cut across. Will turned back to Sonny and reached out over the small table to him. "You had every right to be angry. I'm angry at myself for what I did, for all of it. And I just want the chance to put it right."

"I think that's what this is," Sonny said, his hand clasping around Will's tightly. "And I want that too. I'm not angry anymore. I haven't been since…" He trailed off, unsure whether to mention the voicemail that Will didn't remember leaving. Instead his sudden silence implied another situation. "I'm not angry now," he settled for repeating.

"But it doesn't make everything better."

"Means I'm more likely to listen," Sonny said. "I think…" He sighed and sat back, pulling away from Will's reach. "After I knew everything that happened I don't think I was really ready or prepared to listen to anything you said. All I could think about were the lies, the betrayal, and I didn't once stop to think about you."

"Why should you have?"

"Because up until that moment I would have never thought you'd do that to me, to us. And on the flight back for… Well, I had a lot of time to think about everything that you did before you left for Los Angeles. All the decisions you made, they were all for us, or for me. Even when Gabi was pregnant."

"Long history of poor choices," Will said quietly.

"But never a mean one or a cruel one." Sonny leaned forward. "Look at me, Will." When he did Sonny asked, "Did you ever set out to hurt me?"

"No, Sonny, God no."

"That's what I realised, what I always knew. And that's what I'm going to hang on to."

A disembodied voice announced something in French, Sonny picking out the relevant words to know that they would soon be arriving at their destination. Will was already getting to his feet and gathering what few belongings he had.

"Hey," Sonny said, reaching out to him and pulling him close. "This is going to be hard, I know it is. But if I'm keeping in mind that you didn't mean to hurt me, I want you to keep something in mind too."

"What?" Will asked, his voice muted with self-doubt.

"You are still the love of my life. You're my heart, my everything. And I will love you and want you while there is breath in my body, understand?"

"But—"

"I love you," Sonny repeated. "And one day we will be OK."

Will just nodded his understanding, then let go of Sonny's hand to pick up his jacket and backpack. Sonny opened his mouth to say something more, but knew there was nothing he could say to magically fix the events of the past year, so he said nothing. He just held out his hand for Will to take, and didn't truly let go until they turned from the street to the entrance of the apartment block.

~~~

"There are a few nice cafés a short walk down the street if you're hungry," Sonny called, "and I think I have a few takeout menus if you want to stay in." He looked up to see Will walking out of the second bedroom and he frowned. "What—"

"We need to be smart about this," Will said.

"Separate bedrooms?"

"What if someone calls 'round?" Will asked. "Be hard to sell the whole roommate thing if that room's barely touched."

"So it's for show?" Sonny asked hopefully, even though the look on Will's face was clear. "Will…"

"I don't want to jump back into us being, well, us. Not until I'm sure."

"Sure about what? Me? Us?"

"No. Yes? I don't know," Will admitted. "You said as much on the train, you were angry—"

"Past tense!"

"Really? When did you deal with it, Sonny?"

"What?"

"When did you deal with all that anger? Because from what you've said you didn't, you just moved it aside when you got that call and it's gone nowhere."

"So you decide a separate bedroom is the way forward?"

"Sonny—"

"This is stupid. I love you, you love me, so why are we not sleeping together?"

"Because I slept with another man," Will said bluntly. "Two of them. Two other men had their hands on me, and mine on them. I betrayed you _twice_ , Sonny. I broke our vows months after our wedding."

"Will—"

"And it's not like the one in LA didn't know the situation. He knew I was married and he made it clear he wanted to be with me. And I didn't say no. Arianna was asleep in the next room and I was screwing the screenwriter on the couch."

"You want to talk about this now?" Sonny said, his voice raising.

"Why not now?" Will asked. "And if that wasn't enough I came home and I lied to you about why, I kept things from you, and then when Paul made a move on me I didn't push him away. I told myself that I felt bad for cheating on you and I wanted to make it right but I still flirted and pushed and when he responded I didn't tell him to stop, didn't tell him the truth."

"I know all this."

"And it doesn't make you angry?" Will challenged. "How are we supposed to move on when you're not dealing with—?"

"Me?" Sonny yelled. "You cheat and then _I_ am the one who has to deal with it?"

"Yes!"

"I have to deal with the fact that while I was trying so hard to keep our lives running you were hiding away in Los Angeles, avoiding my calls and then you _cheat_ on me. I gave you _everything_ , Will. I waited for you, I supported you, I was there for you every single step of the way and this how you repay me? This is what you do to us?

"I knew, I _knew_ in my bones that something was off when you came back. I know you and I didn't want to believe it because how could you do that? Why would you do that to me? To us? And then just when I needed you the most you do it again. I know you didn't know who Paul was but you want to talk about me thinking about it? Try _knowing_ it. I know what it's like and I know what you're both like and when I was in hospital it was all I could think about.

"You did that to me, Will. You did all of that to me and then you stand there and you talk about me being the one to have to deal with it."

"You're angry."

"You're damn right I'm angry, Will. I'm angry that I meant so little to you, I'm angry that our wedding meant nothing to you. I'm angry that you would throw everything away on one stupid fling. No, two stupid flings. Once was bad enough, but twice? Is that how little I mean to you? Even if I buy into the stupid 'out of sight' idea, it was different with Paul. You left our home and you went to his hotel room. And after sleeping with him you came home to me.

"And you know the worst thing? I was actually there. I heard someone, heard you in the shower and for a moment I thought it was good Paul was moving on with his life. I can't stop imagining what would have happened if you'd come out, if I'd seen you. I can't work out if that would have been better or worse. To actually see you there, with him. Maybe better, at least then I'd know."

Will said nothing as Sonny's rant continued, he just leaned against the door jamb and waited.

"And this is somehow _my_ fault? Is that what this is about? Shifting the blame onto me?"

"No," Will said eventually. "This is about your anger. You need to be angry with me, you _should_ be angry with me. And until we deal with that we can't move on."

"So how do we deal with it?" Sonny asked. "How do we deal with the fact that I have this… _image_ in my head of you with these men?"

"I don't know," Will said, "but you have every right to be angry with me. I want you to be angry with me."

"You actually want this? What is it going to solve? How is it going to help us deal with everything?"

"Because we can deal with it," Will said.

"How?" Sonny asked.

"I… I don't know," he admitted. "But if we have any chance to have some kind of a life together then we have to try."

"Maybe you being in the spare room is a good idea," Sonny said quietly.

"I still love you."

"I love you too." He pushed the takeout menus on the counter distractedly. "I don't want to feel like this. I don't want to see you with… with them. To wonder why you did it."

"I had a lot of time to think about things after you left," Will said, "and I spent a lot of time with my therapist trying to make sense of it all." He moved from the bedroom doorway to the couch and sat at one end, waiting while Sonny sat at the other. "You have always known that I have never had a high opinion of myself, I never thought that I was good enough for, well, anything. Everything I ever did got screwed up, messed up, broken into pieces because of me.

"It's hard to feel good about yourself and everything that you do when almost nothing in your life has been good. But then you came along and for the first time I started to think that maybe I wasn't all that bad, that there was something in me that was worth something to someone else. And when I'm with you I feel… reassured. I feel better about myself. But when you're not there…"

"So this is my fault?" Sonny asked.

"No, that's not what I meant," Will said quickly. "This is all me, every last bit of it. But when I was in LA and I didn't have you around it was so easy for him to get in my head, to turn everything good in my life into nothing. He made me hate something I loved – that it was just you, only you. And I hate myself for letting him do that. For letting myself give in. For letting you down, betraying you like that. Because I'm not OK," Will said, tapping his head, "I let it happen. And that's not your fault, Sonny, it isn't. I don't blame you. I should have known that you can't just… fix someone, not like that. Being with you shouldn't make everything better; it shouldn't have suddenly made me a better man."

"You did know," Sonny said gently. "Our vows."

"This is a little more than an imperfection," Will said. "This is… this is more."

"But you were home, with me, when you and Paul…"

"I was home, yes, but you and I were distant. Fighting. Things weren't good between us and Paul… he was kind and supportive and he liked me for me. He flattered me—"

"He does that."

"—and he made me believe that he wanted me. And I wanted that. I wanted the validation, to know that I was wanted and good and worth something—"

"And you didn't have that from me?"

"Not then, no," Will said bluntly. "But you shouldn't need to be constantly telling me, constantly reassuring me. That's not good for either of us."

"So Paul flattered you. What about—"

"He turned the fact that I had a husband and a child so young into an argument that I had no idea who I was, what I wanted, or what I was doing. He made it sound like my lack of experience meant that I was… That I was not going to keep anyone interested or around long-term. I wasn't your first, your choice was reasoned. Mine was based on availability."

"You really think that?"

"No," Will said. "But he got in my head. I don't think he knew it, realised what he was doing. But because I never believed I was good enough for you—"

"How many times, Will—"

"Exactly! How many times should we have to do this before I actually believe that you want me? You'd have thought the fact that you proposed and you stuck around when I said no would have been a big clue. You helped make a home for my daughter and Gabi. You waited for me and you were patient with me and I still didn't get it. Still didn't believe it. And that isn't the sign of someone who's OK. I relied on you for my… mental wellbeing and that wasn't fair to you, or me. I shouldn't need you to be confident in myself, to feel like I'm worth something. I should be able to do that for myself."

"And now? I mean… you said you were working on it with your therapist?"

"I was," Will said. "Actually felt like I was getting somewhere before… Well. Before. I might not remember much about that day but I know how I was feeling. I was feeling, thinking that I was ready to deal with this, with us. I'm not perfect, Sonny, I'm probably never going to be. But being on my own made me realise that I can actually do this, I can actually… be worth something."

Sonny opened his mouth to immediately protest but he stopped when he realised how counterproductive that would be. "I'm sorry," he decided on instead.

"What do you have to be sorry for?"

"I should have known. I should have understood how big this was. God, you told me on our wedding day and all I could do was shut you down."

"You wanted to believe that I was better than that. I want to believe that too, be that person. I still do."

"You don't have to be anyone for me."

"No, I want to be that person for _me_. I want to be someone who I actually like."

"Well, I like you," Sonny said. "And I'm… clearly still a bit mad at you," he said with a small gesture over his shoulder to where he'd been standing, "and right up until I heard Uncle Vic say the word 'murdered' it was the strongest thing I felt at the time. Then I would have given anything to take it back, to not feel that way anymore. I love you more than I'm mad at you, and in the airport I had a choice: I could stay mad at you, or I could be in love with you."

"You can't be both?"

"Apparently I can," he laughed softly. "I don't want to be mad at you."

"I don't want you to be mad at me either."

Sonny reached out to Will, taking his hand in his. "We have… a lot to talk about, don't we?"

"And I promise you, no more lies."

"I... believe you," Sonny said.

It was a start.


	4. Chapter 4

"I think we need to go shopping," Sonny said as he watched Will unpack his things. "You cannot survive on two pairs of jeans and three shirts."

"Four," Will corrected, producing another from the bag. "Not exactly much time for packing when you're faking your death."

"So… what happened? Everyone thought you were… I mean…"

"They think that I passed out, my body shut down and he stopped before… Well. Before. Gabi's CPR was the boost I needed and when Rafe arrived he got me help."

"They said… I could see you, if I wanted."

"Yeah, not me. Clearly," Will said, trying to laugh at the joke. "I don't know. By the time I woke up you were all burying me."

"Don't," Sonny said, moving into the room to be nearer him. "I just… you're here, you're OK, and I don't want to talk about… that. Please?"

"OK," Will said, moving around to stand next to him.

"Just… can we ban all talk about… that?"

"We are supposed to be helping my memory."

"We are not supposed to be pushing your memory loss," Sonny pointed out. "So… an embargo on that? Please?"

"OK."

"Thanks," Sonny said, running his hands down Will's arms. "Sure you want to sleep in here tonight?"

"Distance, remember? Space to figure this out?"

"Only thing I'm going to be figuring out is how I'm going to sleep with you next door."

"I'm sure you'll manage," Will grinned. He lifted Sonny's chin and kissed him gently, laughing into it as Sonny deepened it, pushing Will back towards the bed. "Hey, hey, hey."

"So you're sleeping in here, fine," Sonny muttered as he kissed along Will's jawline, "but you didn't say anything about me."

"This is cheating," Will said.

"I just… I don't want to end today on a bad note. I don't want to go to bed with you thinking that I hate you."

"I don't," Will said, kissing him back.

"So… visitation rights?" Sonny laughed.

"Goodnight, Sonny," Will said, putting his hands onto Sonny's chest and pushing him away a little.

"Yeah. OK. Goodnight," he said. "I love you."

"Love you too."

~~~

For the next few days they found a somewhat comfortable routine in this new temporary life. Once Sonny was suitably happy that Will wasn't instantly recognisable (a few days' scruff, a cap pulled down, and a borrowed jacket helped) they shopped for clothes and food and all the things that would make the apartment a home. Will kept Sonny at bay during the night, but during the day they could be just like any couple and Sonny found himself wanting to fulfil the cliché of walking hand-in-hand along the Seine.

When Sonny had to return to work, Will tried to keep himself busy. He explored the surrounding streets and found his bearings, along with a tiny little café run by an old woman who saw through his foreign-accented French and instead of immediately switching to English she would correct him here and there.

He took to bringing Sonny's personal laptop with him and he would write: stories and articles and letters to his family that would better explain things than he would be able to when the time came. The temptation to connect to an internet hotspot and find out what was going on back home was always there, but he was mindful of the warning given to him: _IP addresses can be tracked. Someone will notice and they might think nothing of it, might even think it's Sonny. But somewhere along the line it will unravel and questions will be asked._

So news sites and his email and Facebook remained untouched and more letters and stories were written. He would meditate and work on the mental exercises he'd been given to try and encourage his memories to resurface. In the evening Sonny would come home to a cooked meal and they would sit and talk and drink wine and kiss and it would be easy to pretend that nothing was out of the ordinary for them.

Until the night that kissing led to more than they'd planned.

Keeping the physical side of their relationship to a minimum had helped them refocus: they had rediscovered each other, talked about deep and dark moments, and allowed the other complete access to their souls once again. And on one Friday night, after more than a bottle of wine between them, Sonny couldn't help but kiss Will and Will couldn't help but kiss him back. The pair of them, caught up in each other, made it as far as the couch before they stumbled onto it, Will under Sonny and half prone against the back.

"If you want to stop…" Sonny whispered between kisses, his hands already going for the buttons on Will's jeans.

"Don't you dare," Will laughed in response.

It was only afterwards that Sonny was able to process the exact order of events. Here's what happened:

Will pushed Sonny up and almost reversed their positions so he was in Sonny's lap. One of Sonny's hands was in his hair at the base of his skull; the other was up under his shirt.

In an attempt to reposition himself, Sonny had lifted himself slightly from the couch. Will had become unbalanced, and started to fall backwards. Caught up in the moment, giddy and giggly, Sonny had pushed himself to fall with Will, the pair of them crash landing on the floor. Will's shoulder had hit on the coffee table as he fell, nothing that would cause anything other than a bruise so Sonny had pressed on, covered Will with his body.

It was at that point that Will had begun to panic.

For a second Sonny didn't quite process what was happening but it quickly became clear that Will wasn't trying to push Sonny away as get him off. The flat hands on Sonny's chest quickly became fists as Will fought, hitting and yelling and begging him to _get off me_ and _please don't_.

Sonny had immediately pulled back, climbing back up onto the couch as Will had continued to panic, pushing away the table next to him, shuffling backwards on the floor as far away from him as he could, still shouting and screaming as if…

As if he was being attacked.

The moment that Sonny realised what Will was reliving was the new worst moment of his life. He'd instinctively gone to Will, tried to hold him and reassure him that he was safe, that he was OK, but Will just fought back over and over until Sonny had to move away from him. He retreated to the couch, curled up in the corner of it, and watched Will try to protect himself from a threat that was very real to him.

~~~

"Sonny?"

Will's voice was quiet, raspy, and it drew Sonny's attention from the lit screen of his phone.

"What happened?" Will asked.

"You had a panic attack."

"Why?"

"My guess is that something triggered a memory for you. What do you remember?"

"We were… we were on the couch and then… I just remember feeling scared. Terrified like… Like I was about to die."

Sonny put down his phone and folded his hands in his lap. "And now?"

"Now I just feel stupid."

"Why?"

"Because this is just more evidence of how broken I am," he said numbly, gathering up the blanket around him. He then stopped as he realised where the blanket must have come from.

"You fell asleep," Sonny explained. "After."

"Thanks," Will said, picking at the hem of it. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For this, for everything. For making your life absolute hell."

"Will—"

"I don't believe in myself, my self-esteem is so low that I sleep with other men just because my husband isn't paying me attention, there is not a single person in my life I'm not hurting because of this and now I'm having panic attacks when I'm getting close to my husband." He looked down at the thread he'd worked loose. "Maybe it would have been better if I'd actually died."

"Will," Sonny said sharply, "don't you _ever_ say that again."

"Why not? Everyone back home will be getting on with their lives, eventually they'll get over me. And you wouldn't have to be sitting there wondering what you've gotten yourself into."

"What are you talking about?"

"I panic and from the look of your face attack you." At that Sonny's hand moved to the tender spot on his jaw where Will had caught him. "And I have no idea what's going to happen now."

"There are a few articles online which might help," Sonny said, holding up his phone again. "I had to Google to find out what was going on."

"Did you Google how to fix a marriage? Or how to get away from your crazy partner?"

"What has gotten into you?" Sonny asked. "Pre-panic attack I thought I made myself pretty clear how I felt and what I wanted."

"And then I screw up and now you can't stand to be near me."

Sonny's eyes welled up and he slid off the couch, dropping to his knees on the floor. "Every article I read said that when someone's having a panic attack, or soon after, you should keep your distance. Don't touch them unless they say it's OK. So until you say—"

"OK," Will whispered, nodding a little, and Sonny pretty much launched himself across the room to gather Will up in his arms. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Will said.

"Don't you dare apologise," Sonny said, pressing kisses into the top of Will's head. "I love you, Will. I love you."

They sat there together, curled up in the corner of their apartment, until Will indicated he was ready to move. Sonny followed his lead, letting him stand first, walk first, lead them both into Will's room, and pull him down onto the bed with him. Lying on his back, Sonny held up an arm until Will was wrapped against his side and then he held on, protectively and comfortingly, and said nothing until Will spoke.

"I remember giving up. That night, when he was on top of me. I could have fought back, I could have held on… but I remember thinking 'why?' I'd lost you; it's not as if my writing was going anywhere. If there wasn't a scandal in it then Zoe wasn't interested. So I gave up."

"You realise that's what saved you, right?" Sonny said. "If you'd continued to fight then he would have continued to… But when you stopped he did."

"I guess."

Sonny kissed the top of Will's head and moved his hand to comb through his hair. "When I realised what was happening, what you were going through… I had no idea that you could feel that much pain and still keep on living. I thought what happened was bad enough but that?"

"I'm sorry."

"No, you have nothing to be sorry for and I don't want you thinking that I can't deal with it. Because I can, Will. And more than that, I want to. No matter what happens, no matter how this plays out… I'm not leaving you. Ever."

"I wouldn't blame you if you did."

"Not a chance." For a moment they lay there, Sonny's fingers running lines through Will's hair. "When you left for LA it felt like you were choosing your writing over me. I know that's not what it was, but it felt like it."

"Because of Paul?"

"Yeah. I needed you to be there with me and you weren't, you were off doing your own thing and I guess I thought that you should have known, you should have felt the same as me."

"I shouldn't have left you. Six months? What was I thinking?"

"That it was a great opportunity for you, your mom needed you. I don't blame you for going."

"But if I hadn't maybe none of this would have happened."

"Maybe. So you wouldn't have cheated and maybe we wouldn't be in the mess we are. And I wouldn't have left for Paris and what would have happened then when you were attacked?"

Will fell silent for a moment.

"We are where we are, Will. And a good part of it is my fault."

"Yeah, right. When did you cheat?" Will asked.

"When I closed myself off to you," Sonny countered. "When I didn't talk to you about the club or the money or the fact that my ex was in town. When I didn't hear you out when you said he wanted me, and just dismissed your fears."

"I should have trusted you."

"I should have listened to you."

"Even if you thought I was being crazy?"

"Even if," Sonny said. "Because I should have remembered that the man I married? He does love me. But you were spending so much time writing this article and you were choosing work over me and I just… I tried to protect myself, I guess. Paul being in Salem reminded me exactly what it felt like to be left behind, to be second choice. And I couldn't be hurt like that again so I stopped giving you space to get to me."

Sonny shifted a little on the bed, turning so he was facing Will. "But seeing you tonight, watching you relive that? I can't protect myself from loving you. I can't protect either of us from the reality of what we're going through, of what it's done to you, and I don't want to shut you out anymore. Because doing that just leaves us alone and helpless and scared."

"I did know it was you," Will said. "I could hear you talking to me, even when… when I thought it was him. I just couldn't stop myself from seeing him, feeling him, thinking it was him."

"Then I will always talk to you," Sonny said. "And I will always be here. You're my heart, you know that? You're my home."

"Home," Will repeated sadly.

"You'll be back there soon enough."

"Only if I remember who attacked me. And after tonight I'm not entirely sure I want to. I was so scared and so alone and—"

"And you're not anymore. Well, not alone anyway," Sonny smiled, hooking a finger under Will's jaw to tilt his head back. "And if you're ever scared just remember that."

"I'll try." Will buried his face into the curve of Sonny's shoulder, feeling his arm tighten around his own shoulders to keep him close. "Thank you."

Sonny wanted to protest that Will didn't need to thank him, express his love and his commitment again but he said nothing, just let his eyes drift shut when he was finally sure that Will was asleep.

~~~

Somewhere between the light streaming in through the open window, and the sounds of breakfast being made in the kitchen, Will woke. He stretched out in the empty bed and got to his feet. After changing out of the clothes he'd slept in he left the bedroom, just in time to see Sonny plating up

"Morning," he smiled.

"Morning," Sonny returned with an equally warm smile. "I called in, said I wasn't feeling well."

"You didn't have to—"

"I know. But I did. So sit, eat, and then we can talk about what we're doing today."

"Doing?"

"Yes. Doing. An activity of note or relevance or opportunity."

"What opportunity?" Will laughed.

"Well. We are in Paris after all."

"Oh. So you're going to take me to Notre Dame? Walk around the Louvre and pretend you know what the paintings are about?"

"I'm going to spend it with you. That's enough for me."

"So let's just spend it together."

"Here?"

"We could go to the park. Just walk and talk and be together?"

"Sounds good. Got one in mind?"

"I've started to explore the one around Port Dauphine. It's huge, we can easily get lost there for a day."

"No one I'd rather get lost with."


	5. Chapter 5

In deference to Sonny's argument that they were not walking all day, they took the short transfer on the Metro to Port Dauphine. Will's now-traditional cap was pulled across his face and he took the window seat in the carriage, allowing Sonny to press up against him. When they reached the terminus they waited until everyone else had left, taking their time getting to street level.

"So this is what you do while I'm at work," Sonny said, finding Will's hand and keeping him close.

"There's something about an open space in a city. You're part of where you are but you don't feel like it."

Sonny heard the meaning in Will's words and pulled him a little closer.

"Sometimes I feel like everything happened on fast forward," Will continued as they left the roads behind, walking along tree covered paths. "Falling in love, getting married, becoming a dad. I don't regret any of it, and I wouldn't change a single thing. Just it all happened so quickly that I don't think I really got time to process it all."

"I asked you once if you regretted getting married."

"No, of course I don't. You were—you _are_ the person I'm supposed to be with, Sonny. I loved you then, I love you now, and nothing is going to change my mind on that."

"You just wanted more time?"

"No," Will said. "Agreeing to marry you was the right thing, the best thing. It's hard to explain."

"I wondered if it was too much, too soon."

"You know what," Will said, "death really makes you think about things."

"Like what?"

"Like everything. What you'd have done differently if you had the chance. Had a long time to think about things on the journey here."

"And what did you come up with?"

"Besides the obvious," Will said, "I would have called you, every day. I would have said yes the first time you asked. I would have told you about Gabi and the baby. I wouldn't have been such an idiot when we finally got together."

"I would have told you about Paul."

"He said that he asked his ex, asked you, to never tell anyone."

"You're not anyone, Will. You never were to me. I would have told you, I should have told you."

"And I should have told you. Confidentiality agreements are one thing, but I should have trusted you."

"I wouldn't have left you alone."

"I'm glad you did."

Sonny stopped in surprise, his face falling as he tried to process what this meant. "You were glad I left?"

"No, it killed me," Will said, and then he flinched at his choice of words. "I mean, losing you was the worst thing. You had been my light, my constant for years and then you were gone. Ari kept looking for you for days and she would cry when I told her you weren't there. But I had to learn, I had to step up and be the person that she needed me to be. I was a single parent; I had to keep things going. For her. And I had to learn to live with myself because I didn't have you or anyone else to distract me from that.

"You leaving me was the worst thing and the best thing for me. I know I was a better person for it. I _am_ a better person for it."

"Leaving Ari… I feel like such a coward for that. It wasn't her fault. And after the… after, I would look at her, hold her, and I couldn’t see anything but the parts of her that are you. The parts I saw the moment she was born." Sonny shoved his hands into his pockets and stepped back a little. "Do you think she'll ever forgive me?"

"You're her dad," Will said, closing the gap between them. "Of course she will."

"But will she forgive both of us?"

"This is keeping her safe. Me being here… I won't risk them, not for anything. And after last night I know that one day soon we will be all back home and we can put this behind us. As soon as I remember—"

"You need to stop putting pressure on yourself, Will. It'll happen when it does."

"Yeah, when you have me pinned on the floor no doubt," Will mumbled.

"Something will prompt your memory; we just need to be patient."

"Not sure how long I can be patient," Will said. "I miss home, I miss my daughter, I miss my life."

"I wish I could do something. I hate seeing you like this."

"This isn't what we are supposed to be talking about," Will said. "This is supposed to be about us."

"How is this not about us?" Sonny asked. "What you're going through, it affects us."

"It's the middle of the night back home. All I can think about is whether or not she's sleeping, you know how she gets when she's upset. She'll be really clingy; Gabi probably has her in with her."

"Remember how she was when Gabi went to prison?"

"She'd start off fine but by the time we were heading for bed… I wonder if she still kicks when she's dreaming."

"Will, it's been a few weeks. She won't have changed that much."

"Says the man who couldn't stop commenting on how much Ari changed in the month we were away."

"That was different. She was a baby; she changed all the time back then. Now—"

"She's still growing up. She's growing and changing and I'm not there to see it."

"Neither am I," Sonny pointed out.

"You can go home at any time. You can talk to them, interact with them… I don't even have a cell phone and every time I'm on the computer I need to fight the urge to check up on them, to just… feel like me again."

"You are you, Will."

"I don't feel like it."

"What do you feel like then?"

"Like… like I don't matter. They're all getting on with their lives and—"

"Do you really think they're just 'getting on' without you?" Sonny challenged. "I saw your parents, Will, and even I can't imagine exactly what they're going through. They lost their baby, and we both know how much your mom loves you."

"Yeah, but—"

"But nothing, Will. I thought I knew what pain was. Paul, or even falling in love with you when you weren't out, weren't ready? It all hurt. But that was nothing compared to losing you. And there wasn't a single person in Salem who didn't feel that loss. You are wanted and you are loved and you are worth something. You are worth everything to me.

"And I swear to you, you'll see it when we go home. You, Will Horton, are so important to so many people."

"Careful," Will said, "someone may hear you."

"I hope you do," Sonny said.

"No, I mean… we're supposed to being discrete. You know the rules," he added, tapping the brim of his cap. "Will Horton is not here."

"But you are," Sonny whispered, closing the gap between them, "and I'm not letting you go ever again."

"Sonny?"

"Yeah?"

"Take me home."

~~~

Coming down Will revelled in Sonny's arms tight around his waist. He held Sonny's head to his chest and breathed in the scent of him, of them, and for a moment he felt the hope that came with being with the one that you loved above all else.

"Hey," Sonny breathed, bringing him back to the room. "You OK?"

"Yeah, just… having a moment," Will laughed, kissing him softly.

"Better than the moment you had earlier?"

"Much better," he grinned, shifting a little so he could move from Sonny's lap. When Sonny all but whined and tried to pull him back, Will laughed and swatted his hands away. "Give me a minute. Guy's gotta get his breath back."

"Must say, I am liking this whole 'you always on top' thing," Sonny mused as Will settled on the bed beside him.

"What? The lack of panic attacks?"

"The lack of effort I need to put in," Sonny laughed. "Too much French bread and cheese."

"You're as gorgeous as ever," Will said, his hand resting over Sonny's belly.

"Liar."

"Nope, not anymore, remember?"

"In which case I give you permission to lie."

"Oh, right. You're as chiselled as ever, Sonny," Will deadpanned, "and you look like you should be on the Parisian catwalks."

"That's better," Sonny laughed as Will buried his own laughter in the crook of his neck.

"I never told you that I get it now, did I?" Will said, his tone suddenly serious. "You told me once that it was never 'just sex' between us, and I get it. All the things I thought I was looking for weren't there and it just made me feel worse… I'm sorry, this isn't exactly the kind of pillow talk we—"

"It's OK," Sonny reassured him. "We should be able to talk about this at any time."

"Any time?" Will challenged.

"Maybe not when you're sitting in my lap," Sonny laughed, "but we can't avoid it. Not if we're going to get through it."

"Right from that first time there was… something between us, wasn't there?"

"Oh it was there long before that. Every time we hugged or our hands brushed… I knew."

"Wish you'd clued me in sooner."

"You needed time. And when I did try and push you—"

"I slept with Gabi, OK, yeah. Maybe not."

"We happened when we were supposed to happen, Will. I wouldn't change a minute of that time."

"You waited for so long."

"You were worth it. You are worth it."

"Even after everything?"

"Ask me again in ten years, when Ari is a teenager and we're so disgustingly settled and happy our lives almost seem boring."

"Life with you is never going to be boring," Will said. "I want to travel the world with you."

"What? And have me coaxing you down from big hills while you scream about mountains?"

"I'm not _that_ bad!" Will spluttered.

"So where would we go?"

"Where haven't you been?"

"Really?" Sonny asked, sitting up in bed. "You'd want to do this?"

"Well, I don't really have a job and I was thinking that it might do us some good once everything's settled. You, me, Arianna?"

"And Gabi?"

"Depends on the conditions of her release. Not sure if there are restrictions on her leaving the country or not."

"So how about we just travel America? So many places to see there."

"Sounds like some road trip movie," Will laughed. "But I don't care where I am, so long as we're together."

"Me too," Sonny grinned into the kiss. His hand moved to Will's waist, pulling him up so his body covered his.


	6. Chapter 6

Will must have slept because suddenly he was aware that it was night. He stretched out in bed but found it empty. "Sonny?" he called.

"In here," came the reply from the main room of the apartment.

After pulling on enough to be decently warm, Will ventured out where he found Sonny sitting in front of his work laptop. It sat, back to back, with his personal one and Will obeyed Sonny's wordless gesture to sit opposite him.

"The camera on yours is off, as is the microphone, but obviously mine isn't so bear that in mind," Sonny said.

"Why?" Will asked.

Sonny didn't reply, just clicked a few buttons on his computer, and Will heard the familiar tone of Skype ringing. Before it connected on the other end his own computer screen flashed for a second, and then the display changed to a copy of Sonny's. Just in time for the call to be answered and Arianna's smiling face to fill the screen.

Will's hand flew to his mouth to prevent the sob from being audible.

"Hey there, Sweetheart," Sonny cooed, his fingers reaching out to touch the screen.

"Hi, Daddy!" Arianna waved, the mirrored screen making it seem like she was waving at Will too. "I drew this for you."

"All on her own," Gabi said, "she refused any help from me or Rafe."

"That's my girl," Sonny laughed as Ari held the paper.

Gabi helped her keep it steady, and explained the four scribbles on there. "That's Ari, that's mommy, and those two are your daddies."

Sonny's gaze flicked up momentarily to Will, and he put a hand beside the computer, palm up. Will's hand found it and held on tightly.

"We talk to her all the time about Will," Gabi said. "She's never going to forget him, not if I can help it."

"Daddy coming home?" Arianna asked.

"Not right now, Sweetheart," Sonny said, giving Will's hand a squeeze. "But I will come back soon, I promise."

"How are you?" Gabi asked.

"I'm… getting there."

"It doesn't seem right, you being away from everyone who cares about you. I hate to think of you alone over there, missing Will—"

"I'm doing OK," Sonny said quickly. "How's everyone back home?"

"We're… OK," Gabi decided on. "Still doesn't feel real somehow. I take her to the grave every week but I'm not sure that she fully understands."

"Don't push her," Sonny said. "And maybe ease up on the visits?"

"Why?"

"It's just, it seems hard on you," Sonny covered.

"It is. But this isn't about me."

"Where Daddy?" Ari asked, twisting in Gabi's lap so she was looking up at her mother.

"Daddy Sonny is in Paris," Gabi said. "Remember? We have a world map on the wall and your photo is pinned to France," she said to Sonny.

"Daddy there," Ari pointed, and for one moment both Will and Sonny panicked that the second camera had somehow activated.

"Yeah, that's Daddy Sonny," Gabi said, reminding them that Ari wasn't the only one there and if Gabi could see Will she would have said something by now.

"So what are you two up to today?" Sonny asked, trying to keep his eyes focused on the screen and not Will.

As they talked through their day (shopping, seeing friends, Ari's playgroup) Will sat back in his chair, a hand over his mouth while the tears fell down his face. They ran along his fingers, pooled a little between his hand and cheek, and splashed unheeded wherever they fell. He pulled his other hand back from Sonny and reached out to the screen, his fingertips brushing Ari's hair the way he'd always done since those first few blonde tufts had sprouted. He'd been secretly glad that she was fair like him and not dark like Gabi. Her mannerisms and physicality was very much her mother, but her face was him. His eyes, his smile, his hair. You would look at her and know she was Will's, and he would forever see her as a better version of himself.

She sat on Gabi's lap, chattering away to her and Sonny, and when she was a little too restless she was given a book to read while the adults talked. Will focused on Ari, reminding himself of the little details that had faded in the last few weeks. The stubborn curl that always fell over her brow, the way she crinkled her nose when she was paying attention to something, the way her lips parted when she smiled in achievement. She held the book up for Gabi to read from, and laughing Gabi read a page to her.

Sonny took the opportunity of her distraction to watch Will. He was devoted to the screen, unable to take his eyes off his daughter, and even though Sonny knew it was hurting him to be seeing this from a distance, not being able to be a part of the conversation, it was something.

"I'm sorry," Gabi said to Sonny, "this isn't what you called us for."

"It's fine," Sonny said. "I really don't care so long as I get to see her."

"If you came home you could do more than just see her," Gabi said.

Sonny smiled and nodded. "Soon. I promise."

Through the speakers there came the sound of a door opening, and suddenly Ari was out of Gabi's lap, down onto the floor, and running out of shot. Before Sonny could even ask why, Rafe came into view, Arianna happily settled on his hip.

"Hi, Sonny," he said.

Sonny caught the way that Rafe's eyes darted around the screen, and he knew that Rafe was looking for any sign of Will.

"Hey, Rafe. How's things?"

"Not too good. I wish I had some news for you. How's things with you?"

"Slow going," Sonny said, hoping that Rafe would understand. "But I'm getting there."

"Yeah, well, it takes time sometimes."

"You need to look after you," Gabi said. "I really don't think it's good you being on your own."

"I'm not," Sonny said. Rafe's expression changed to a warning one in the time it took to blink. "I've got friends here, people who care about me. I promise you, Gabi, I'm not alone."

"Good," she said.

"It's got to be late over there," Rafe said, looking at his watch. "We should let you get to bed."

"Say goodnight daddy," Gabi said, letting Ari climb down from her uncle back to her mother's lap.

"Night, Daddy," Ari said. She put her palm to her mouth and then moved the hand away, blowing hard as she did so.

"You blowing kisses all the way to France?" Gabi asked.

Across from Sonny Will kissed his fingertips and held them to the screen.

"You have a good day, Sweetheart," Sonny said. "Daddy loves you."

"Love you, Daddy," Ari said. Following Gabi's whispered instructions, she reached forward and pressed the end button, and both laptop screens went blue.

Immediately Will was out of his seat and throwing his arms around Sonny's neck. "Thank you," he whispered.

"I wasn't sure if it would be too much, if you—"

"No, no. It was wonderful. Thank you." Sonny's arms were secure around Will's waist and they stood there for a moment before Will spoke again. "Rafe is going to _kill_ you," he laughed.

Sonny laughed too, pulling back to look at Will. "Worth it."

"She looked OK, right? She's doing OK?"

"She's fine, Will. She just misses you."

"I miss her. I need to remember so I can get home."

"Don't push yourself, Will. You know it takes time."

"The longer it takes the more I miss. And the longer this person gets away with what they did to me, to Grandma, to Paige and Serena."

"We need to be careful about this, Will. If we push it then you could have another panic attack."

"And that is something I really want to avoid," Will said, nuzzling back into Sonny's neck.

"Nothing else is going to happen tonight," Sonny said, "so let's just…" He trailed off with a sly grin.

"You're just full of good ideas tonight."

Sonny laughed, kissed Will gently, and then led him back to bed.

~~~

"You going to be OK?" Sonny asked as Will started to usher him out of the door.

"I will be fine, go to work."

"Just… be careful? Promise me? If you must go out—"

"I know, I know. Non-descript clothing, cap down. Avoid the major tourist hubs – which, if you ask me, is a little mean considering where I am."

"That's how people are found, caught. How many times have you read a story where someone who was supposed to be dead, or in hiding, was found because of some picture posted online? That guy in the background of a photograph taken by the Eiffel Tower looks a lot like someone who was supposedly killed a few weeks ago—"

"I know, I know," Will sighed, now used to Sonny's concerns. "To be honest, I'm enjoying exploring the Paris that tourists don't get to see."

"I'd be happier if you stayed here."

"And waited for you to come home from work?" Will laughed. "Do I look like a 1950s housewife to you?"

"You do look good in an apron," Sonny pointed out with a grin.

"Go to work. I will see you when you get home."

"Shouldn't be any later than seven."

"You're back when you're back."

"This is why I'd feel better with you here. I can get in touch with you—"

"Go," Will said, kissing Sonny briefly then opening the front door. He pushed Sonny through it and then shut it behind him.

~~~

Today Will headed north, walked around a townhouse which was now a museum to various art collections. He ate in a small café, paying in cash as always. Turns out being 'dead' meant that things like a credit card, or even a cell phone were no longer options. Nothing that could be linked to the supposedly-dead man eating a ham and cheese sandwich halfway 'round the world from his grieving family. Sonny's personal laptop provided him with some semblance of something close to normal; although Sonny had taken great pains to disable anything that would allow Will to do anything but type.

He continued north, finding another park where he sat underneath a tree and opened a new document. He saved as that day's "work report" and set to typing another letter that one day he hoped he would be able to give to Arianna so she would know that he never once stopped thinking about her, loving her, or missing her.

When he got cold or hungry or had said all he could, he would pack up the laptop and wander off in whatever direction he felt like. His navigation of Parisian streets was done with the aid of an old-fashioned map, but he never took it out until it was time to go back.

And so Will passed his days, walking the streets, writing to his daughter, his parents, to Sonny. On one memorable occasion he wrote to his would-be killer. Then he would find somewhere to buy dinner, or the ingredients for one, and by the time Sonny came home the food would be cooked, the wine opened, and they would pass the evening until it was time for bed.

It could have been a beautiful life had Will not been constantly frustrated at the lack of progress in uncovering his memories. He meditated, he focused on what he did know. He pulled ties a little too tight around his neck in the hope that it would trigger something, but all it did was leave him uncomfortable and light-headed.

Tonight he was left with his thoughts, French television unable to distract him, and around ten o'clock he gave up and went to bed in his own room.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With my utmost thanks and gratitude to Jules (meiyutag.tumblr.com) for their editing of a certain part of this fic! Merci beaucoup.

Will woke to the smell of strong coffee and a weight on the edge of his bed.

"Sorry I was late," Sonny said as Will's eyes opened. "Work was hectic."

"It's fine," Will said, pulling himself up to sit and reaching for the coffee.

"No, it's not. I wanted to let you know, I wish I could."

"Really, it's fine."

"Is that why you slept in here last night?"

"No," Will said, putting his drink down and reaching for Sonny's hands. "No, I figured you'd be coming in late and you wouldn't want to disturb me, plus I was pretty tired."

"How goes the exploration of Paris?"

"It's good. Think I might start heading south now, walk along the river."

"Just—"

"Be careful, I know."

Sonny leaned forward and kissed him, but froze when there was a knock at the door. "Stay in here," he said, leaving Will's room and closing the door behind him.

Will got out of bed and moved to the door, straining to hear what was being said. Heavily accented voices greeted Sonny, but as for the words all Will could make out were "time", "grief", and then his own name. He heard Sonny starting to protest something, telling the two people that they had gotten it all wrong, that it wasn't like that. Unconsciously Will pulled back from the door when he heard them walking past it, and then—

"Il nous ment. Il cache quelque chose," said the first person

"Quelq’ _ **un**_ ," the second said. "Tiens-le occupé. Je veux fouiller un peu."

Will opened the door and rubbed his eyes, creating the pretence that he'd just woken up. The look on Sonny's face was pure horror, but Will ensured that the two men were not looking at him.

"Morning," Will mumbled. "I… hi."

"Morning," said the first person, taking in Will's state of undress.

"Sorry, Sonny. I didn't know you had people over."

"I… I work with them," Sonny said, his mind racing with how he was going to deal with this, how he was going to explain it.

"Early morning meeting?" Will asked. "I'll grab a drink and get out of your way."

"Qu'est-ce que tu en pense?" the first person asked.

"Il est dans la chambre d'amis," the second replied.

"Je suppose que cela vous convient?" Will said in perfect French. "Si vous vous préoccupez autant de notre organisation, je me doute que ceci n'a rien à voir avec le travail. Pourquoi êtes-vous ici?"

"Nous sommes inquiets pour Sonny," the first admitted. "Savez-vous que son mari est mort le mois dernier?"

"Bien sûr que je le sais," Will said. "Je connaît Sonny depuis longtemps."

"Vous vous connaissez depuis longtemps, mais il n'a pas prévenu une seule fois que vous étiez ici," the second person said.

"Austin," Will said, holding out his hand. "En fait, ma famille connaît bien la sienne. J'ai grandi en Suisse, pas loin de la frontière. Après ce qu'il s'est passé, je pense qu'ils ont jugé que ce serait pour le mieux que Sonny aie un peu de compagnie, donc ils m'ont dit de venir à Paris."

"Et vous n'êtes ici que pour lui tenir compagnie?" the second person asked.

"Everything OK?" Sonny asked, watching the fluent conversation between the three people.

"They're worried about you," Will said in English. "They're checking that I'm not taking advantage of you. Which I'm not, for the record."

"That wasn't it," the first person said quickly. "We—"

"Certaines rumeurs couraient," the second person said, addressing Will. "Il quitte sa chambre d'hôtel pour s'installer dans un appartement avec un homme étrange que personne ne connaît ? Il arrête de rester tard au travail et se rue chez lui? On voulait être sûrs que note amis allait bien, que personne n'était en train de profiter de lui."

"C'est pour cela que je suis ici," Will said. "Et je pense qu'il sait que je suis venu pour le surveiller, mais ça ne pose pas de problème. Parfois il faut faire le nécessaire pour ne plus avoir la famille sur le dos. Je vous promets que je ne lui fais pas faire de choses qu'il n'a pas envie de faire."

"Très bien. Sonny n'allait pas bien du tout quand il est arrivé. Son mari, Will, lui avait fait beaucoup de mal, mais c'était évident que Sonny l'aimait. Quand on a su que Will avait été assassiné, on savait comment ça allait l'affecter. Il ne faut pas qu'il se force, mais il faut aussi qu'il fasse attention."

"I know you're talking about me," Sonny said, "so this is bordering on rude."

"They're telling me about how you were when you first came here," Will said, "and how much Will's death affected you."

"Yeah… well…" Sonny mumbled.

"They mean well, Sonny."

"So do you, Austin," Sonny replied quickly, "doesn't mean I like what's going on here."

"Je vous promet de m'occuper de lui," Will said to the two men. "Je veux seulement l'aider."

"Il lui faut du temps pour faire son deuil. Il ne faut pas qu'il se presse," the first person said. "Faites en sorte qu’il fasse attention."

"D'accord" Will said. "Merci." He looked over at Sonny who thankfully looked a little less panicky. "Je ne pense pas qu'il va vous renvoyer, mais des excuses seraient les bienvenues."

"Sorry," the first person said, closely echoed by the second.

"I'll see you at work," Sonny said, "and we will have another talk about boundaries and my personal life."

"Sorry to have disturbed you," the second person said to Will, before they both left.

Once Sonny was sure that they weren't hanging around or coming back, he sank onto a nearby chair and held up his hand so Will could see the tremors in it. "I thought I was going to have a heart attack when you came out of the bedroom."

"Well one of them was going to start snooping, so I thought it best that I controlled the situation."

"Have I mentioned recently that I love you can speak French?" Sonny asked with a short laugh.

"No, I don't believe it's come up."

"Well, I'm glad. Really glad."

"They bought it, but you need to be careful at work," Will said.

"I have been! I've not said anything about you!"

"And you don't think that's weird? Sonny, you need to give them something. Just a little, that way they don't think you're hiding anything, but nothing so significant that they feel the need to mention it to anyone else."

"Uncle Vic isn't involved with this," Sonny said. "He agreed, promised that he would leave it to me."

"Maybe. But you just lost your husband, and before that you were miserable and missed him."

"They told you that?" Sonny asked.

Will nodded. "Apparently you were a mess."

"Will—"

"It's OK," Will said quickly. "Why wouldn't you be? I hurt you, I cheated on you, I drove you away."

"You know I'm not mad at you anymore?" Sonny asked, getting to his feet. "Well. Not like I was before."

"I know," Will said. "I know you love me."

"More than anything," Sonny whispered, closing the gap between them.

"I love you too." He paused for a moment, clearly debating whether or not he was going to say what he wanted to. "I trust you."

"Is that what you want to know?" Sonny asked. "If I trust you?"

"No, that's not why I—it's just—I mean…" He stopped, took a deep breath, and fixed his eyes on Sonny. "I want to ask you to do something, but I need you to hear me out first."

"OK," Sonny said.

"I need to remember what happened, and the only time I've gotten close was when you were on top of me and it triggered the memory."

"So you want me to do that again?" Sonny asked.

"Yeah, but…"

"But what?"

"But this time I want you to… When you're on top of me, can you… I need to recreate what happened so I can trigger the memory, so I need you to—"

"Choke you," Sonny finished, his voice flat.

"I trust you, I know—"

Sonny pulled back and away from Will, putting clear distance between them. "No," he said firmly. "No."

"Sonny—"

"No."

~~~

It was easy to play the angle that he was mad about that morning's visit, however well-meant it may have been Sonny hid away in his office, pouring over reports and summaries, determined to ensure no detail passed him by today.

Working through lunch was nothing new; most days it prevented him from calling his "roommate". Will was the last person he wanted to speak to today, and so he kept up the distraction and grabbed quick bites of whatever he'd been brought by his assistant while he continued working.

"It's late," Julie's voice broke into his report writing. "Go home."

"I'm not done," Sonny said.

"You will never be done in this job. Always something new. Go home."

"Not right now."

"I thought we were past this," she said. "I thought you were starting to move on. Because this isn't about today, is it?"

"Move on?" Sonny asked, forgetting for a moment.

"I know it hurts," she continued. "There are days I barely think about my David, and then there are days when I can't get him out of my head."

Sonny realised what she meant and he felt guilty. Guilty at forgetting the role he needed to play, guilty because of the lies he was telling and perpetuating, and a new layer of guilt that he couldn't quite place just yet.

"He will always be with you, you know? Your anger? It fades. Love? That lasts. I couldn't tell you what David and I fought about, but I know he hurt me pretty badly over our life together. I know he forgot a few birthdays, anniversaries, but I couldn't tell you which ones. I remember the flowers he brought me, 'just because'. The way he'd smile at me when I wore the dress he liked. It's those things you need to hang on to, Sonny. Not the fights."

"It was… more than a fight," Sonny said.

"He hurt you, I know. Are you going to stay mad at a dead man? If Will were here now would you be like this? Or would you realise that life is too short and then deal with it? Make peace?"

For a moment Sonny panicked that she knew, and he started to explain. "It's not—he wanted—"

"What do you want?" she cut him off. "Besides him back?"

"…What?"

"If I could bring Will back for you, I would. Losing someone you love, losing them suddenly? It's a hurt that no one else gets, and a hurt we wouldn't wish on anyone," Julie said, inadvertently putting Sonny at ease. "That understanding, feeling that you'd give anything for another chance. A day, a moment. Even one more kiss."

That moment, that feeling flooded back to Sonny and he was overwhelmed once more. The hole in his chest cracked open and the pain crept into it, filling the cracks that hadn't healed (and maybe never would) and there was no acting needed for the tears which welled up in his eyes.

"Don't hide away," Julie said. "It won't help."

Sonny nodded and stood up from his desk. "Thank you."

"You need to look after you, Sonny. Being angry the whole time won't do that."

"I know," he said. "So I'm… going to deal with it."

"With your new roommate?"

"What?"

"The boys told me. Said he was cute."

Sonny shook his head in what he hoped was a dismissive fashion. "I love my husband."

"I know you do. But one day you'll be ready to move on, and that's OK."

"And what if I don't want to be over him?" Sonny snapped. "Sorry, sorry," he said much more calmly. "It's just… it's only been a few weeks."

"I know. And there is no rush, no timetable for this. If this roommate is just a roommate then that's fine. And if there's something else there, even for a night or a moment or a few weeks? Then that's fine too. It's when you're ready. Your heart—"

"Belongs to Will."

"And you're still angry with him?"

"I can't keep up," Sonny said. "Are you telling me off or not?"

"Both," Julie smiled. "You need to look after yourself, and part of that means opening yourself up to love again. Or at least the possibility."

"I want that," Sonny said. "I want to be happy again."

"You will be. Whatever you decide."

Sonny caught her look and smiled. "But I need to look after me first?"

"See?" Julie grinned. "I said I'd teach you all you needed to know when you first arrived." As Sonny walked around her she caught his arm. "Don't let anyone tell you what you should be feeling. Not even me. Losing your husband is one thing, but you lost the promise of everything that you could have had together. You can't change the maybes and the what ifs. Focus on what you do have – and what you want to do with that."

"OK," Sonny nodded. He moved towards the door, but then turned back. "Think I'll take a day tomorrow."

"I'll let the guys know. Break will do you good, that weekend you had worked wonders."

Sonny smiled, nodded, and then left.

~~~

Sonny picked up a bottle of wine on the way home and rehearsed over and over what he would say. 

_I want you to remember what it was like for me…_

_The idea of hurting you…_

_I can't be the one who does that…_

_What if it doesn't work…_

_What if you replace him with me in your memory…_

_I can't watch you have another panic attack…_

_I need to be selfish in this…_

_I lost you once…_

_I love you…_

_I need you to be OK…_

_I love you…_

"Will?" he called as he walked into the apartment. "Will, can we talk? I know you're probably mad at me but—"

The apartment was empty, cold, and devoid of any sign that Will had been there at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7 August update. Well, a lack of one! My computer has died so I have no way of posting the next part tonight. The fic is safe, fear not, but as I am computer less right now I cannot get it from hard drive to you. *gestures as the iPad in the hopes that it will pass through to wherever you are*
> 
> Hopefully I'll be up and running soon enough. Until then, feel free to Google translate stuff, or be like Sonny and just not know...


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting this yesterday - my computer decided to die on me! Have two as a bonus.

_'We lost him, Sonny. He's gone. Will's gone and he isn't coming back.'_

Sonny forced himself to stop and focus, the unhelpful thoughts only distracting him from finding Will. In that dream Sami told him, over and over, how her baby boy was lost to them. Some nights they would dry together, other nights she beat her fists against Sonny's chest so hard he would wake, a hand flying to the source of a pain that felt real while four words rang in his ears.

' _It's all your fault.'_

Even though it was a dream, even though Sami had told Sonny over and over that it wasn't his fault, that she didn't blame him and he would always be family to her, there was a part of Sonny that never let go of that blame. If he'd been there then maybe it wouldn't have happened. If he'd stayed then maybe Will wouldn't have been attacked. Will would be OK.

And if he'd stayed that morning, if he'd said yes, Will would be here now.

Sonny refocused, going over the discussions that he and Will had had about his explorations of Paris. He pulled up maps on the computer, following the routes that Will had talked about, tracing locations that he had been to. Immediately Sonny ruled out locations that were not open this late, too busy for him to risk going to, somewhere Will would know and feel safe enough to retreat to.

After ruling out the park as being too cold and dark for him to still be there at this hour, that left a little café that Will had only described as being "down by the river" and run by a woman who reminded him a little of Caroline Brady. It was vague and not exactly enough to find Will, but it was enough for Sonny.

~~~

Turned out that there were a fair few cafes "down by the river" that were open this late, so Sonny took to asking if anyone recognised the description of the café owner. He tripped over the French words and couldn't help but think that he should have taken the time to learn a little more of the language, and that Will would have had no problem finding Sonny were the situations reversed.

Eventually he found someone who took pity on his fumbling attempts and corrected his language choices before telling him – in English – that there was a place just around the corner that was usually shut by now but was still open, possibly because the woman who ran it couldn't bear to kick out the one man sitting in there. Sonny managed a _merci_ before breaking out into a run.

The light from the café windows spilled out into the street, and as Sonny stepped into it he caught his breath. Sitting at a table so that his back was to the window was Will. Across from him sat an old woman and the two seemed deep in conversation, and as Sonny walked in he wished – once more – that he'd learned more French.

"Et si j'avais tout gâché?" Will asked.

"Qu'est ce qui te fais penser cela?"

"J'ai demandé l'impossible à Sonny. Quand il est parti ce matin il était tellement énervé—"

"Tout comme toi. Toute la journée tu es resté assis ici, tu as écrit avec une passion qui ne peut venir que de l'éxaltation ou de la colère, et ce n'est que maintenant que tu arrives à être assez calme pour me parler. Mais je sais que tu l'aimes, et qu'il t'aime aussi."

"Comment pouvez-vous le savoir?"

"Parce que c'est si facile de voir l'amour quand on en connaît les signes."

Will turned to follow her gaze, finally seeing Sonny standing by the door. He was out of his seat and over to Sonny in seconds, pulling him into a tight hug.

"Je reconnaît l'amour quand je le vois," the woman said.

"What is she saying?" Sonny asked into Will's shoulder, not giving up a single bit of the hug.

"Nothing I don't already know," Will said into Sonny's shoulder. "She's saying you love me."

"She's right."

"I know," Will laughed softly. "You know I—"

"I know," Sonny said. "I know."

"Time to go home," the woman said, her English heavily accented. "Talk. Be in love."

"Thank you," Sonny said, "merci."

"Pas de problème," she said with a smile and a shake of her head. "Home. Rentrez chez vous."

Will pulled back from Sonny, his hands finding Sonny's and holding them tightly. "Home."

~~~

They didn't talk on the walk home, or even when they got back. Will took a shower while Sonny ordered in some dinner, and it was only when everything was on plates, the wine opened and poured, and they sat across from each other that they finally dared to broach the subject.

"I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry," Will said, pushing the food around his plate a little.

"I understand why you did," Sonny said calmly. "I thought a lot about what you asked, and I was angry. Scared. The idea of… doing that, of seeing you go through that? I love you, Will, and yesterday I would have said that I would do anything for you. But apparently I have a limit. I can't put you through that, I can't see you go through that, and I know this isn't about me but it's all I have."

"Why isn't it about you?"

"Because I wasn't the one who was attacked," Sonny pointed out.

"You had to deal with the aftermath. You thought I was dead."

"I can't imagine what it's like, not knowing what happened to you."

"I miss Ari, I miss my life—our life in Salem. I need to make sure that my family aren't going to be in danger so I have to know who attacked me, attacked Grandma, killed Paige and Serena. I hate the idea of them being out there, getting away with what they did."

"You think I want him to get away with it too? And I'm being selfish, but for what they did to you? Part of me wants to kill them myself."

"I just thought that we managed to prompt my memories once—"

"I know, I know," Sonny said.

"I did wonder… never mind," Will said, grabbing his wine glass and taking a large mouthful.

"What?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Don't do that."

"It's just… Rafe doesn't want me home until I remember, and we haven't talked about what will happen if I never remember. Do I stay here permanently? Do you have to lie to everyone for the rest of your life? My life?"

"You will remember."

"Do you want me to?"

"Of course I do," Sonny said. "Did you think...? You think I want this secrecy to continue?"

"I'm safe here," Will shrugged. "I can't go out anywhere significant in case I turn up in pictures or security footage. You pretty much know where I am at all times and—"

"Enough," Sonny said, putting down his cutlery. "No, OK? No."

"Sonny—"

"I trust you. I… I had a choice: trust you or not. Because it really is a choice. Trust. I know things were… Well, they weren't good. But whether or not we go back to that comes down to a choice. And I chose, I choose to trust you, Will. The way things are, the way they've been since you got here? I choose to trust that you won't cheat me on again."

"Never," Will said quickly. "This is one hell of a second chance that I've been given, and if I screw this up then I will lose you for good, I know that."

"I don't want us to have the kind of life where you're not free to go out and be you. I happen to like you," Sonny smiled. "But I am worried."

"If it's not me…?"

"We're still not there, you and me. We're getting there but we're still walking on eggshells with each other. So scared of upsetting each other that we're not taking responsibility for what we did."

Sonny watched Will for a second, hoping for a flicker of recognition but all he saw was understanding.

"I want you to remember, I want this to be over, I want you to be able to go home. But I also want us to be OK, Will. You're not the only one with a second chance here."

"I wasn't the one who ruined everything."

"I didn't help matters—"

"It was my fault, Sonny. No matter what you did, what you were doing, you didn't cheat on me."

"I kissed Paul," Sonny blurted out. "When you were in LA, he was in the hospital. He saw me, followed me, kissed me. And I kissed him back."

Will faltered for a moment, then looked down at his food. "Right. But that's it? A kiss? Hardly the same."

"I'm not blameless," Sonny said, "neither of us are perfect."

"I'm just a little more imperfect."

"Will," Sonny sighed. "You can't—"

"I can and I will," he said. "You're not going to fix that part of me, Sonny, no matter how hard you try."

"Want to bet?" Sonny grinned. "I love you."

"I… I know," Will said instead. "There were times when I wasn't so sure, but I know. I just…" He stopped and looked at Sonny. "I want to accept responsibility for what I did."

"I know," Sonny replied, watching Will again for any sign of memory. When there was none he returned to his dinner. "I took tomorrow off work. Thought we could do something. Go somewhere."

"The Louvre?" Will joked.

"Doesn't even have to be in Paris. We can do whatever you want."

Will seemed to think about this for a moment, then smiled. "You know what we haven't done in a while?"

"What?"

"Movie night."

"We watched movies all the time," Sonny protested.

"We fell asleep in front of the TV," Will corrected with a smile. "When Ari was a baby we were exhausted, and then after Gabi went to prison we were either running around with work, or we were… more interested in other things."

Sonny caught his meaning and laughed around his food. "Fine. Movie night it is."

"I'm not ruling out anything else," Will said. "But it would be nice to start with a movie, just like we did when we started dating."


	9. Chapter 9

If you were to ask Sonny he couldn't tell you what movie they ended up choosing. Truth was that it didn't matter. As the night and the film progressed Will ended up with his head in Sonny's lap while he carded his fingers through the blond hair. They talked and laughed and simply enjoyed each other's company in a way that felt familiar but also new to each other. As the night went on they finished the wine and moved on to a box of chocolates that Sonny found hidden away at the back of a cupboard.

Sonny caught the glimpse of a grin from Will a second before he struck. Will's hand closed around a pile of wrappers and he was attempting to get them inside Sonny's shirt. Sonny laughed as he fought back, easily pushing Will back onto the couch and pinning him down. For a second he hesitated, waiting to see if Will was going to suffer another flashback, but none came. In that moment Will pressed his advantage, pushing Sonny off him with such force that he toppled to the floor. Still laughing Will lay out on the couch, looking down at Sonny.

"Give up?" Will asked.

"Just getting my breath back," Sonny said. "I'll get my revenge."

"Like to see that," Will joked, grabbing at the wrappers now strewn about the couch. He scrunched them up into a ball and launched it across the room towards the trash can.

Sonny raised his head enough to see Will's shot fall short. "We need to get you back on the court. You're out of practice."

"You were the one with the shots," Will said, "I was always the distraction." He got off the couch and headed for the bin. "While you're setting up the shot—"

"There was more to your play than that," Sonny said, propping himself up to look at Will. He'd stopped mid-sentence and Sonny had taken that as a cue to jump in with a defence but what he saw was anything but.

Will had stopped by the bin, ball of wrappers in his hand, staring at it with a horrified look on his face. Sonny's joke about his shots not being that bad died on his lips as he recognised the look he'd been wary of not a moment before.

"Will—" he said, scrambling to his feet. "Will, look at me."

Sonny took hold of Will's shoulders, turning him so they were facing each other. Will's eyes were wide and his face was draining of colour.

"Will—"

"He… he was there… he's here…"

"No, no he's not," Sonny said firmly. "Will, listen to me. You're in Paris, you're in our apartment, I'm the only one here."

"Sonny, he's… he's…"

"You're in Paris, in our apartment, with me."

"Sonny—"

"Talk to me, Will. Where are you?"

"I'm…" His eyes darted around the apartment. "I'm… I'm in Paris."

"You're with me, in Paris."

Will's breathing was still laboured, his eyes darting towards the door. "Paris. Paris."

"Look at me, Will. Hey, hey, look at me." He put a hand on Will's cheek to turn his head. "Talk to me."

"Paris. Our apartment. In Paris, our apartment."

"There's no one here, you're safe. I promise you, he's not here. It's just me. You're safe." Sonny held Will's face in his hands and kept them close. "You're safe. I won't let anything hurt you, I won't let anyone hurt you. I promise. You're safe."

Will seemed to focus on Sonny's face and he gave the smallest of nods, putting his hands over Sonny's but instead of removing them he held them there. "Paris. Our apartment. You and me. Paris. Our apartment. You and me." He repeated it, over and over, like a mantra, but when there was a loud noise from the street below he still jumped. Sonny pulled him into a hug and held him against his chest, rocking him gently and repeating the mantra when Will stopped.

"Paris. Our apartment. You and me."

It took a while before Will seemed calm enough for Sonny to loosen his hold on Will a little. His initial attempts had Will clinging tighter, and Sonny was almost certain that it was the mantra that he heard Will muttering under his breath. So he waited until Will was ready but he stayed close, keeping Will within breathing distance.

"He came home and—"

"No, no, no," Sonny said, cutting him off. "You don't need to do this now, it's OK. When you're ready, there's no rush."

"The bin. I was… I was a lousy shot," Will mumbled into Sonny's shoulder.

"It doesn't matter," Sonny said, misunderstanding what Will was talking about. "It's just some wrappers."

"Paper," Will said. "I was… writing. I missed the trash can and when I got up I saw it."

"Saw what?"

"The tie," Will said, pulling back. "And then he came home. I knew."

"Don't do this, don't push yourself. I don't want you panicking on me again."

"I'm OK," Will said, grounding himself physically with Sonny. He put his hands on Sonny's shoulders, running them down his arms until they were holding hands. "Just…" He took a deep breath. "We need to call Rafe."

"Why? He can wait."

"No, we need to call him now. We have to… we have…"

"Stop, stop, stop," Sonny said as Will began to panic again. "I know you want to—"

"It's Ben," Will snapped.

"What?"

"Ben. It's him. He came back to the apartment and he saw me and he…" Will took a deep breath. "Abby's pregnant, Sonny. We have to do this now."

"OK," Sonny nodded. "But not until you're feeling better."

"I'm fine."

"Sure," Sonny said, grabbing Will's wrist and holding up his hand. Without something to hold onto it still showed the slight tremors caused by the adrenaline rushing through his system. "You're sure? I mean…"

"Yeah, he was on top of me choking me so I'm pretty sure I know who it was."

Sonny quirked an eyebrow. "That wasn't what I meant, but it's good to know you've not lost your sense of humour."

"Abby is living with a killer, Sonny."

"I know, I know. And believe me I want to deal with it," Sonny said, "but right now you're my priority. You first."

"…Why?" Will asked.

"Because I love you," Sonny replied as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"Abby—"

"Is probably not in danger. Think about it. Everything's pointing towards Chad so if it's Ben—"

"He's setting him up," Will said. "Paige and Serena had run ins with Chad, Grandma Marlena was helping him… If Abby finds out—"

"She's pregnant with his kid," Sonny said. "I'm sure she's… what?"

"We need to call Rafe now," Will said. "Please?"

"OK, OK. Just… let me get the computer. Stay here, sit down. Take a deep breath and just… keep breathing?"

"Plan to," Will quipped, reaching out for the chair that was behind him. "We have to help her." As Sonny moved over to the table where the laptop sat, glancing back every few steps to make sure that Will was still there, still breathing, still present in this moment. "He asked me to be his best man," Will said quietly.

~~~

"You're sure?" Rafe asked quietly.

Sonny nodded. "Certain."

"Right."

"So what happens next?"

"It'll take a few days to arrange a homecoming," Rafe said tactfully.

"Why not now? Today?" Sonny checked his watch. "Still a decent hour for you."

"Not as easy as that," Rafe said. "Right now we just have what you've told me. Give me a few days to look into it in more detail, get some things together. It needs to be airtight. Just… make that call, OK? Get home as soon as you can."

"Keep an eye on her, Rafe," Sonny said, his eyes flicking up to Will as he did so. "Make sure she's OK?"

"Promise," Rafe replied. "In fact, I think it might be an idea if Gabi went to talk to her. You know, mom to mom thing."

Will almost jumped in front of the computer screen to protest but Sonny's hand flew up to stop him.

"Make sure that she's OK, that she's not on her own. Her and Ari spending time with Abby? Might be the best thing for everyone."

"I'll let you know when everything's organised," Sonny said, getting Rafe's meaning.

"Keep it quiet. Fewer people who know the better."

"Speak soon," Sonny said before ending the video call.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Will spluttered. "You want Arianna near him?"

"And what is Ben going to do when Gabi and Arianna are there?" Sonny challenged. "What exactly will happen to Abby when she's seeing Gabi all day, every day? When Gabi is talking to Abby about maternity stuff and stress and looking after yourself and all the things that Rafe went on about when Gabi was pregnant?"

"That was different," Will sulked.

"But it won't seem like that to Abby or Ben. I get it. Ben's not going to do anything if he's got a cop's sister hanging around all the time. And it'll take what? Two, three days for that English guy to get us back over to the States?"

"Us?"

"Yeah, you and me."

"No, you're booking a flight. A nice, normal flight."

"I'm not leaving you—"

"Sonny, it's hard enough smuggling one person around the place, it's impossible for two. Besides, he's got a passport for me. When you were arranging my funeral Rafe was arranging that."

"I have a passport—"

"Yeah, and how is that going to look? You travelling with a complete stranger? Not at all weird."

"It doesn't matter, we're going home."

"It matters," Will said. "What if someone finds out? He needs a few days to sort out everything so that it looks good enough for all the checks that they do. I have no idea how it works but I know that it's hard enough with the two of us, and we can't add you to the mix on a legitimate passport. Besides, why the hell would you go home via the kind of route we came out on?"

"Will—"

"Once I've left you'll have a few days. Book a normal flight, get home without anyone in Salem knowing. That's all you need to do, keep it hidden from everyone there. I need to keep it hidden from several governments. I'll see you there."

"I don't want to leave you. Not after—"

"You're not," Will smiled but there was no real warmth behind it. "I'll be fine."


	10. Chapter 10

Three days passed with the speed of molasses. After sending the message to Rafe's contact Will was soon given a pick up location. Packing only enough for a few days Will left with the British not-Will that Sonny had met briefly in that hotel room and Sonny returned to an empty apartment and a flight which was more than two days away. As per the agreement he told no one about his plans to return home and continued his life as if nothing had changed, as if he'd not listened to Will numbly recall the night that Ben had tried to choke the life from him, of that moment when Will realised that his friend, this man he considered to almost be family, was capable of such horrors. Of the absolute fear that flooded him when he was on the floor and fighting for his life.

A fight that many believed he lost.

On the morning of his flight he emailed in his excuse to work, claiming ill for a few days, and he grabbed his flight bag before leaving to meet his cab on the street. He put his headphones in to avoid conversation with his driver, staring out of the window for the hour's drive as they headed out to the airport.

He checked in and passed through security, explaining his lack of bags through the simple comment "I'm going home". He'd not heard anything from Will or Rafe and so he spent the entire ten hour flight hoping that all was well.

As expected there was no one at Chicago to meet him, and so he rented a car and pointed it in the direction of Salem.

~~~

Sonny parked around the corner of the police station and downed the last of his second large coffee. His very long day was starting to catch up with him, and a tiny part of him wanted nothing more than to find a bed, crawl into it, and forget that the world existed for a few hours. But more than that he wanted to know. Wanted to know if Will made it, if he was in there with Rafe, and if there was enough proof to bring Ben to justice.

So he got out of the car, wrapped his jacket around him to ward off the chill, and he walked inside. There was no one around so Sonny walked through the building, heading in the direction of Rafe's office. He knocked on the ajar door, pushing it open as he did so.

"How bad was traffic?" Will joked, getting out of his seat. "We’ve been waiting hours."

Sonny smiled, giving a soft laugh in relief, as he was pulled into a hug.

"Nice to see you again, Sonny," Rafe said, although Sonny was only half aware of it. "You two stay in here. Everyone else has been sent home. I'm going to… go make a call."

"How was your flight?" Will asked when they were alone.

Sonny gave a soft laugh. "How was yours?"

"Long. Complicated. At one point I thought we weren't going to get into Canada, some hold up with the papers. It wasn't just us though, so that was a relief. Nothing like being sneaked in and out of countries to make you terrified about how easily it can—"

He was cut off when Sonny shook his head before kissing him.

"Right. OK," Will said.

"I missed you."

"It was three days."

"It was too long."

Will smiled and stepped back from Sonny, perching on the edge of Rafe's desk. "Been long enough for Rafe to look into Ben. He doesn't have an alibi which is the first thing, and the night I… well, Abby said she called him and he said he was out. He looked into the purchase of the ties in more detail, and even though it looks like Chad bought them there's no actual record that he did it."

"Is it enough?" Sonny asked.

"For Rafe to get Ben in here," Will said. "Now that he knows what happened that night…"

"Are you OK?"

"I had to go over it all for the tape," Will said. "That was… hard. So many things I didn't remember when we talked about it, like how he—"

"It's OK," Sonny hushed. "You don't need to do this now. Or ever."

"No, I want you to know. I don't want to keep anything from you again. That is, if you want to know?"

"Losing you was… It was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. But you had it worse and so this isn't about me. If you want to tell me then I will listen."

"Maybe later? Think tonight is going to be hard enough as it is."

"You sure you want to be here for this? I'm sure Rafe can handle it—"

"I want to see him," Will said firmly. "More than that, I want him to see me. He pinned me to the floor, Sonny, and he tried to kill me. He dumped my body for Gabi to find and then he sat at my funeral like it was nothing. I need to do this."

From outside the office they heard Rafe speaking, his voice a little louder than normal in a clear signal to the two of them. They waited until it had faded before leaving the office, moving to stand on the other side of the observation mirror.

To Will's surprise he felt nothing, not even anger at the man now sitting in front of him. To his right he could feel Sonny bristling and he began to realise that maybe it wasn't his anger they had to worry about.

~~~

"I don't get why we need to go over this again," Ben said, sitting there as if he didn't have a single care.

"Some new information came to light," Rafe said, making a show of going through the papers on the desk. "Just got to go over some stuff to double and triple check."

"Sure. Whatever it takes to put Chad away."

"Why are you so sure it's him?"

"Who else could it be? Paige, Serena? They fought with him—"

"And Will?"

There was a moment where Will thought he saw a flicker of something, whether it was fear or regret he couldn't place.

"You're the cop, you tell me," Ben said.

"OK," Rafe said, closing the file and looking at Ben. "What I think is that Will was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Found something he shouldn't. Because he was different. He wasn't some woman, taken by surprise. He was a grown man, he fought back. The only way that his attacker got any kind of edge on him was by dazing him. There was bruising, down his back?" Rafe said, reaching behind him to indicate his spine. "Examiner thinks it was a handle of some kind, like one on a fridge. Throw someone against it hard enough and you'll shock them, daze them, they'll catch their breath. Makes it easy to get the jump on someone.

"So he's thrown against a fridge, he falls to the ground and is already struggling to breathe. All because he found something he shouldn’t."

"Like what?" Ben asked, shifting in his seat.

"A tie?"

"What makes you say that?"

"You asked me what I thought," Rafe shrugged. "Only thing that makes sense."

"So Will found Chad out and paid the price."

"Still not sure about that. Because what motive does Chad have in killing those woman? Attacking Marlena? It makes much more sense if it's someone else, someone trying to redirect attention to Chad."

"Is that why I'm here?" Ben asked.

"You can't deny you have motive. You're not exactly Chad's biggest fan."

"So what? I killed them for the sole purpose of framing Chad? Why? I don't like the guy, sure, but what purpose would it serve? I'm getting married, Rafe, I've got a baby on the way. Why would I risk that?"

"Why indeed?" Rafe asked. "But I can't ignore the fact that Will was last seen at your place the day he was attacked."

"And like I told you then, I came home and he left saying he needed to speak to someone about something."

"A random someone about a random something?"

"I wish I could tell you more, Rafe, I really do. Will was my friend."

"He was mine too. More than that. He was like a son to me, he's the father of my beautiful niece who still looks up at me and her mom and asks when daddy is coming home. So you'll understand why it's a bit of a mission of mine to find out who did this?"

"I get it, I do."

"Then tell me what happened."

Ben sighed and sat back in his chair. "Am I under arrest?"

"Why won’t you just tell me?"

"I know my rights. Either arrest me or I'm leaving, but I won't sit here and listen to this. Everyone else seems to get it but you, Rafe. Chad snapped. Abigail is with me, marrying me, carrying my child and he can't deal with that. So he snapped with Serena and then I don't know, maybe Paige got onto him. Marlena? Well she could have exposed the whole thing and Will…" At that Ben did falter a little. "Maybe he did find out."

"Yeah. He found out and he fought back as best he could. And after it was over he was shoved into a bag and a crime scene was staged in his apartment, set up so that he would be found and no link could be made to the actual crime scene. But if I'm right, and I'm pretty sure I am, then that fridge door Will was thrown against? The bruising that it caused?" And with that Rafe picked out a photo from the closed file and threw it over at Rafe. "We can match it to a specific brand, model even."

"And this has what to do with me?" Ben asked.

Rafe sat there for a moment, watching Ben before he calmly said, "And afterwards you sat at his funeral."

"I'm leaving," Ben said. "Next time you want to speak to me I think I'll have a lawyer present." He got up and headed for the door. "You have no proof, this is just some… story you're inventing because you don't want to admit that you got it wrong. Chad is the guilty party, and if you'd bothered to act on that sooner then maybe Will wouldn't be—"

Ben stopped as he stepped outside the interrogation room to be faced with the only person he never expected to see.

"Be what?" Rafe asked calmly. "How tacky would it be for make a ghost comment right about now?"

"I… I…" Ben stammered, unable to take his eyes off Will. "Will, I… I'm sorry, I—"

"Sorry?" Sonny spluttered, moving forward so much he ended up bumping into Will. "You think that's enough? You think that even _starts_ to—"

"Hey, hey," Will said, turning his back on Ben to face Sonny. "Don't. Don't." He put his hand on Sonny's chest to hold him but Sonny reached up to move it away. In response Will took Sonny's hand and placed it on his chest. "I'm here. That's what matters."

Sonny looked from Ben to the hand on Will's chest, rising and falling with every exaggerated breath that Will took. He looked up and caught Will's eyes and Will saw the anger burning there.

"He's not worth it," Will said.

"You want me to look the other way?" Rafe offered as he pulled Ben's arms behind him. "Trust me, I won't mind."

"Will, Sonny… I… I had no choice," Ben said.

"This is the point where you shut up," Rafe said, pulling Ben away. "Ben Weston, you are under arrest for the murder of Serena Mason, the murder of Paige Larson, and the attempted murders of Marlena Evans and Will Horton." He looked back over his shoulder at Will. "Wait here. I'll be back in a few minutes and then… then we can start the real fun."

"Real fun?" Sonny asked.

"Telling everyone that I'm not dead," Will said.

"Whoa. Sami is not going to like that we lied to her."

"Am hoping that she'll be so distracted by the news I'm alive that she doesn't take it out on Rafe."

"Good luck with that," Sonny laughed softly.

"You'd have killed him," Will said bluntly. "Ben. Just now. You wanted to kill him."

"Still do," Sonny admitted. "He sat there, calmly, arrogantly…"

"It's over," Will said. "He's in custody. It's over, we're home."

"He tried to—"

"He didn't. Please, Sonny. For me."

"What?" Sonny asked.

"I know what you're thinking. I know you can get to him. Don't. Please, Sonny. For me."

"I hate that you know me," Sonny smiled, dropping his head.

"No you don't," Will smiled. "Promise me."

"Yes. Fine. I promise."

"Promise me something else," Will said. "Things are… going to get intense. Rafe's got this plan to call people in turn, stagger it. Arianna will be last, give me—give us an excuse to leave."

"OK?" Sonny asked.

"Don't leave me."

"Never," he smiled.

"No, I mean… don't leave me," Will said, stepping back at the same time he reached out and put his hand on Sonny's arm. "This far, OK? No further."

Sonny smiled, nodded, and took Will's hand in his. "OK."


	11. Chapter 11

"Is it true? You've arrested Ben?" Marlena was barely in the room, flanked by John and Roman, as she started demanding explanations. Her voice was tinged with a hope that Rafe hadn't heard in a long time. "Is he the one who did this?"

"Yes," Rafe said.

"You're sure?" Roman asked.

"Positive. Witness, confession, the works."

"Witness? Since when was there a witness?"

"That's the thing," Rafe said. "The witness was injured, in shock, and could barely remember anything. I needed to keep them protected at a distance until they had recovered enough to identify Ben. I couldn't risk Ben finding out; it could put people at risk."

"Secret from me?" Roman challenged.

"Even you."

"Does it matter?" Marlena asked. "It's over."

"Doc's right," John added. "This witness? They OK?"

"More than OK," Rafe said. "I just wanted to have my say before you all started yelling at me for what I put you through."

"Why would we yell at you?" Marlena asked.

"You can't be that scared of the doc," John laughed.

"It's not you I'm scared of, it's your daughter."

"What does Sami have to do with this?" Marlena asked. "Will? Does this witness know something about Will's death?"

"Bit more than that," Rafe said, half turning towards the office.

On cue Sonny walked out, Will half a step behind him, joined at the hands.

"Hey, Grandma," Will said, staying by Sonny's side. Anything else he might have said was lost as Marlena, with a sob that was half joy, crossed the room and wrapped him up in a tight hug. Sonny held onto his hand until the last possible moment before he left them to it.

"You knew?" John asked him.

"Rafe needed someone to… keep an eye on him," Sonny said.

"This explains why you've not been in touch as much." John nodded. "How long?"

"Since the funeral," Sonny admitted.

"You kept this secret, all this time?" John asked Rafe.

"Will didn't remember anything. It was our biggest chance to catch Ben."

"Oh, I get it," John said, looking over at Marlena and Roman who seemed to have moved to checking that Will was physically fine. "And I'm sure they will. Not so sure about Sami."

"Yeah, that one is going to be fun," Rafe sighed.

"My advice? Phone call. At least then she can't hit you."

"Thought had crossed my mind," Rafe laughed.

"So, who's next on this reunion tour?"

"Lucas and your parents," Rafe said to Sonny. "They should be here in a little while."

"Nice reunion for you too," John said. "Can't imagine what it has been like keeping this from them."

"Yeah," was Sonny's non-committal reply. He turned back to Will who was now having his hair brushed back into place by his grandmother. When Will held out a hand to him Sonny moved back over, slotting into Will's side while Marlena jokingly chided him for keeping the truth from them, right before thanking him for keeping Will safe.

"Always," Sonny grinned.

~~~

Lucas didn't care about the whys or the hows, all that mattered to him was that his son was alive and well and back home. Adrienne and Justin tried to make a fuss of their own son, but he kept his promise to stay by Will's side, right up until the point Gabi brought a sleepy Arianna into the room. Watching Will's face as he saw his daughter properly for the first time in weeks, seeing her face as she reached out for her father, stilled every complaint about Rafe's secrecy.

Arianna seemed a little unsure to begin with, but once Will smiled at her, held her against him in the way that he always did, then she accepted his return and snuggled into the curve of his neck the way that she always did.

"Daddy missed you," Sonny said, holding out his hand for Arianna to take. "Both your daddies missed you."

"She missed you," Gabi said. "I still can't believe that you're here."

"Going to take some getting used to," Will said. "Gabi, I'm sorry for—"

"Don't. It doesn't matter anymore, but if you want we can talk about it later."

"I think you'd better take her," Will said, moving to shift Arianna back to her mother, "she needs her bed."

"I'm surprised that you're willing to give her up!"

"Not entirely sure where Sonny and I will be tonight, so—"

"You're coming home," Justin interrupted. "We can easily make up a room for Arianna too, if that's OK?"

"I think time with her daddies is exactly what she needs," Gabi said. "Take all the time you want, OK?"

"Thanks," Sonny said to her with real warmth and affection. "Not entirely sure that you'll get her back though!"

"We can talk about that later," Gabi said. "Go on, I think your parents are ready to get going."

"We're ready when you are," Adrienne said. "No rush. We're just glad to have you back. All of you," she added, looking at Will.

"Thanks, Mom," Sonny said with a small smile.

"Been a big day for all of you," Justin added. "Think it's time to get some rest. What time is it for you now? Paris is how far ahead?"

"We're fine," Sonny said in a clipped tone. "We can easily get a hotel room, there's no need to put yourselves out—"

"It's not putting us out to look after you," Justin said. "And besides, I think Victor might have a few words to say about it if I let you go to a hotel room. Maggie too, come to think of it," he added, looking at Will.

"It's fine, Sonny," Will said, unsure of why Sonny was reacting the way that he was but keen to get Arianna settled. "We should go, tomorrow is going to be another long day."

"Fine," Sonny sighed, turning back to Will and Arianna. "Time for bed, sweetie?"

"Gives us a base too," Will said. "Imagine that there will be a fair few people turning up to see us."

"Word is going to get out pretty quickly," Rafe said. "I figured it best to start with more immediate family, but I wasn’t sure about Jen, JJ… or Abby," he added. "This is not going to be easy on her."

"We can talk about that another time," Sonny said firmly. "If we're going then we should go."

Will nodded, and he carried Arianna out to the waiting rental car. He couldn't help but smile at Sonny's forethought in the child seat and for the short drive from the police station to the Kiriakis mansion he said nothing, just watched the man next to him, and knew that something was very wrong.

~~~

"Is she asleep?" Sonny asked as Will walked into their room, shutting the door behind him. "I didn't think it would take long, but I thought you'd want to spend more time with—"

He was cut off as Will crawled up onto the bed and over him, kissing him firmly and passionately.

"OK, Will," Sonny laughed, putting his hands on Will's chest. "Normally I'd be all for this, but right now I need some sleep. Barely got any on the flight, and I've not slept that well since you left."

"You'd really rather go to sleep?" Will grinned.

"In this moment, yes, I'm sorry!"

"Good thing I love you," Will said. He sighed and collapsed onto the bed next to him.

"You're just as exhausted as I am," Sonny laughed as he realised.

"Big day. Coming back from the dead takes a lot out of someone." 

"Still got a few people to see."

"This is Salem. They'll know by now." Will lay on his back, looking up at the ceiling. "I wonder how Abby is doing."

"Abby?"

"She was going to marry Ben. He did this because of her and Chad."

"You can't worry about everyone else, Will. We have enough issues of our own to deal with."

"Are you OK?" Will asked, turning his head to look at Sonny. "You seem… off."

"I'm just exhausted. Think about it; we’ve not stopped for almost a week. We went from fighting about you regaining your memories to you actually getting them back, then sneaking back here, Rafe arresting Ben, revealing the truth to your family…"

"Yeah, OK, it's a lot."

"Just give me time. You have to understand, Will, that when I left—after the funeral—I didn't really think about coming home. I knew it was a possibility, part of me was at least acknowledging that there was a possibility of... of a life after you. But it was all theory, ideas. Now that I'm here, _we're_ here… I don't quite know how to deal with that."

"You don't have to deal with it on your own," Will said, his hand finding Sonny's in the small gap between them. "I'm here. We're here."

"I know," Sonny said. "I think… I think I just need some sleep. A lot of it."

"Come on then," Will said, getting off the bed and pulling down the covers as best he could on his side of the bed. He started pulling off his shirt and stripping down to his underwear.

"So eager to get me into bed," Sonny quipped as he got up and allowed Will to finish turning down the covers. Once he had stripped down himself Will was already settled, holding up an arm so that Sonny could settle against his side. It was a position that Sonny took most comfort in, his head resting against Will's chest, listening to the steady thrum of his heartbeat, his hand on Will's chest rising and falling with each breath.

And soon they slept.


	12. Chapter 12

The day passed in a revolving door of friends and family, all of whom wanted to see Will, to find out in detail what happened, where he'd been, and to mockingly chide Sonny for keeping them all in the dark the past few weeks. For Will it was an opportunity to catch up with Salem life, even if they weren't directly telling him. It was obvious from the interaction between JJ and Gabi that there was something neither of them were mentioning. Whatever it was it wasn't his place to comment so he left it, returning his attention to his father.

"Your mother is on a flight," Lucas said as he settled Arianna on his knee. "She'll be fussing over you tonight."

"I… look forward to it," Will sighed.

"Don't be like that. You don't know what it was like."

"I know what it was like being away from Arianna," Will said. "Not being able to see her, touch her," he added, holding out his hand for her. "That was hard enough."

"Burying your child it's… there's no words for it. It's your heart in there with them. They're a part of you—"

"I know that," Will smiled.

"—and so losing that part is… it's something you never really get over."

"I'm sorry."

"Hey, no," Justin said. "That wasn't… I didn't mean… It wasn't your fault what happened, and I'll be honest, I much prefer this to the truth of you being… y'know."

"I know," Will smiled sadly.

"So what are your plans?"

"Honestly? I haven't thought about anything beyond this. When I was in Paris it was all about getting my memories back and finding out who was responsible. After that… I have no idea. I don't know if we can just slip back into our old lives."

"Paul?"

"…Partly," Will admitted. "Sonny and I dealt with a lot of things in Paris, but we managed to really avoid that one issue."

"Are you worried?"

Will took a deep breath. "No, I don't think so. Not about Sonny, anyway."

"You?"

"You mean am I going to cheat on Sonny again?" Will looked across the room where Sonny was attempting to focus on his work and not at all listen in to the conversation. "Not a chance. I'm not risking what we've got, what we've managed to rebuild. He knows that."

"I do," Sonny said, leaving the computer and coming to join them. "And you don't need to worry about Paul either."

"I didn't mean—" Lucas started.

"It doesn't matter," Sonny said. "Will's not the only one who knows what a chance this is."

"Well I'm glad," Lucas said. "Not just because I want to see you boys happy, but because you're clearly mad about each other."

"Speaking of," Will said, stealing a look over at Sonny, "what's this I'm hearing about you and—"

Will was distracted from his question by Abigail's arrival.

"Oh my god, it's true. You’re here."

She stood in the doorway, one hand resting protectively on her belly, and she was flanked by her mother and brother just staring at Will. In response he got up from his seat and walked over to her, pulling her into a hug.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered. "Will, I never—"

"Don't," he said quickly. "It wasn't your fault."

"I should have known."

"No one knew," Will said. "He fooled us all."

"I'm still sorry," she said, pulling back to look at him.

"Come, you need to sit down," Will said, guiding her to the couch. "All this stress can't be good for that baby."

"That's what I keep telling her," Jennifer said.

"You need to listen to them," JJ said.

"Will, I have something I need to deal with," Sonny said. "You're staying here, right?" He didn't even seem to wait for a reply before kissing Will and leaving.

"Is he OK?" JJ asked.

"There's just been a lot going on," Will said, as confused as everyone else.

~~~

"Where is he? I want to see him."

Will had about two seconds to hand Arianna to Lucas before his mother came barrelling into the room. She paused long enough between strides to catch her breath, then she was over and her arms were wrapped around him so tight that he struggled to breathe. When Sami realised she pulled back, horrified at what she'd done, but soon got over it and Will was once again wrapped up in a hug.

"My beautiful baby," Sami cried.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I'm sorry we couldn't tell you, that you had to go—"

"You have nothing to be sorry about," she said. "Absolutely nothing."

"OK, who are you and what have you done with Sami Brady?" Will asked, pulling back to look at her.

Sami smiled, wiped away her tears as best she could, and shook her head. "I don't care about what happened or why it happened or who kept what from me. I only care that you're here." She put a hand on his cheek and Will leaned into it the way that he always did. "You're here and you're OK and everything's fine now."

"I don't understand either, Arianna," Lucas said, holding Ari so she was standing on his thighs. "It looks like Grandma Sami. It sounds like her."

"Enough," Sami laughed, her arm slipping around Will's waist so she could hold herself to his side. "You understand what I mean."

"Yeah, I do," Lucas smiled, looking up at their son. "I'd have paid anything, given anything to have you back. And turns out that price is being kept out of the loop for a couple of months so I'm very happy with that."

"Where's Sonny?" Sami asked, looking around expectantly.

"He had to go out for something."

"Everything OK?"

"Never better," Will smiled. "We… we were able to deal with a lot of things in Paris. The time together really helped."

"So things are back on track for you two?"

"Hopefully," Will said, picking up Ari when she reached out her arms to him. "I mean, we're certainly in a better place relationship wise."

"Why do I get the feeling that you're still not sure," Lucas said. "Is it Paul?"

"No, actually it has nothing to do with Paul. It's Sonny."

"What about him?" Sami asked. "He was… When he thought he'd lost you, Will… No matter what had gone on, he still loved you."

"I know, and I know he loves me now. I love him, more than ever."

"I would have thought that things were settled now," Sami said to Will as she tickled Ari's cheek. "Your daddies are home and that… bad man,” she covered after a warning look from Will, “is in prison. You can get on with your lives now."

"Somehow I don't think it's going to be that easy," Will mused. 

~~~

"Your lawyer's here," the officer said. "Come on."

"I didn't request one," Ben said, but got to his feet anyway.

"Even you deserve representation."

Ben said nothing and followed the officer through to the interview room. He stopped in the doorway and smiled before thanking the officer and sitting in the empty chair opposite as the door was closed behind him.

"And how is the law treating you these days, Sonny?" Ben asked. "Nice suit. Borrow if from your dad along with his credentials?"

"Thanks," Sonny said, smoothing an imaginary line from his jacket. “It’s my wedding suit. Best day of my life when I put this on.”

"I'm surprised that they let you in here." Ben smiled. "Then again, knowing your name maybe not."

"Feel free to leave," Sonny said, nodding towards the door. “I mean, as much as you can when you’re headed back to a box. I mean, cell,” he corrected, but nothing in his tone suggested a mistake.

"No, you came here for a reason and I'm curious as to why. Threats?"

"No," Sonny smiled. "I'm not into threats."

"Then what?"

"I want to know why."

"Why what? Why Will?"

"Why any of it."

"Abigail is _mine_. Chad needed putting in his place."

"And you never thought to just… talk to her?"

"She slept with him, Sonny. I would have thought you of all people would understand what that feels like."

"Oh, I know how much it hurts. But the idea of doing… that? You could have just let things be—"

"You know Chad, just as well as anyone else. He's not someone to just let things be."

"Wasn't it Abigail's choice? She wanted to marry you, it's your child she's carrying."

"If you believe the tests," Ben said. "And she still made the choice to sleep with him, to lie to me. Same as Will. Sonny… I never planned on—"

"I don't actually care," Sonny cut him off. "You had your reasons and they're shitty ones. You killed two people, you attacked two more. You thought you'd killed Will and then you sat at his funeral with us. You were his friend."

"He shouldn't have been poking around—"

"This is _not_ his fault," Sonny continued. "He did nothing wrong, he was just there for Abigail when she needed a friend, he was going to be your best man. He was nothing but good and kind and supportive to you and you tried to choke the life out of him. Then you stuffed him in a bag and turned our _home_ into somewhere Gabi couldn't stand to be."

"Says the man who left him, walked out on his husband, his daughter. I would _never_ do that to Abby, or our son. No matter what."

"And your way is better?" Sonny scoffed. "You don't care about what you did, so long as Abby stayed with you. Not worked out too well for you, has it?" Ben said nothing, so Sonny continued. "I didn't come here with a threat, I came with a promise. Will didn't remember at first, but his unconscious mind did. He had nightmares in Paris, horrific ones. He would cry out, scream even. He had panic attacks every time I got close to him. It destroyed him, what you did to him. His mind, his peace, and don’t think that because he remembers now he’s OK.

"But more than that, you destroyed my heart. Will is… He's my Abby."

"And so you come to do to me what I did to him?" Ben asked, his ease and arrogance clear.

"No," Sonny smiled, and suddenly Ben was no longer at ease. "Not right now, anyway. Maybe not at all. I don't want you dead, Ben, what purpose would that serve? If Will had died then he wouldn't have to live with the memory of what you did to him. You know one time he was cooking and he had headphones in. I tapped him on the shoulder and I have never seen him so scared. He'd only just put the knife down otherwise I could have been hurt.

"It's going to take him a long time to stop reacting that way but it's never going to go away. For either of us, or for Gabi who found him. Did you think about her? About Arianna? About what you were doing to Will's family, the people who love him?"

"I had to—"

"You wanted to," Sonny corrected. "And you know what I want? I want you to understand what it's like. I want you to have that fear, that understanding of how much you have affected people. You're going away for a long time, and it won't be any easy time. You'll survive it, I promise you, but you won't enjoy it. And you won't ever, ever get over it."

With that Sonny got up and walked over to the door, knocking on it. "We're done here," he announced. "So are you," he added quietly. "Enjoy." 

~~~

Sonny was greeted warmly by Sami who enthused about the renewed warmth in his marriage with Will, stressing again and again how he wasn't himself in Los Angeles. Sonny dismissed her, saying it no longer mattered and now it was all about their future.

While they settled into happy conversation Will noticed that Sonny's phone was ringing, and seeing Rafe's name on the caller display he answered it without hesitation. He listened to what Rafe had to say before hanging up.


	13. Chapter 13

"How could you be so _stupid_!" Will yelled as loud as he dared. "Why would you go and see Ben? Did you threaten him?"

"Of course not," Sonny said. "I just… talked to him."

"To do what, pass the time of day? What possible reason could you have for—?"

"You!" Sonny yelled. "You, of course, why else would I do anything? You really expect me to just leave it? After what he did to you? Will, I watched you have panic attacks, flinch at loud noises, nearly take my hand off when I scared you. I lie next to you as you have nightmares, dreams you tell me are nothing or you don't remember. You don't think I see the way that Arianna clings to you, or reaches for you all the time?"

"So you went looking for… what? Revenge?"

"It's more than that, Will," Sonny said, reaching out for him. He stopped, hurt, as Will took half a step back.

"You're lucky it's Rafe who found out," Will said, throwing Sonny's phone onto the counter. "He gets it."

"I wonder why," Sonny said. "Maybe because his sister was caught up in this too. Because she was the one who found you, how it drove her out of her home?"

"He's in jail, Sonny. What else is there? What did you threaten him with?"

"I made no threats, Will, I thought you knew me better than that."

"I do know you," Will said. "I know how much you want to protect me, the other day at the station proved that. What would you have done if you'd gotten your hands on Ben?"

"This is more than that, Will. This is… He took _everything_ from me."

"No, he didn't."

"I know, but… that’s not how it feels. This is the same system that locked Gabi up for stopping Nick."

"She's home now."

"What if one day they let Ben out?" Sonny challenged.

"This is a little different," Will said. "Ben killed two people for no other reason than revenge. He tried to kill me, kill Grandma. He's not like Gabi."

"I want to be sure that he… understands."

"Understands what?"

"Exactly what do you need him to understand?"

"Everything we've been through," Sonny said. "All the hurt, all the pain, all the—"

"Anger?"

"That too," Sonny admitted.

"You need to stop—"

"Stop what? Stop wanting to…"

"To what?" Will prompted when Sonny trailed off. "You can't protect me, Sonny, and what's more I don't want you to. That's not what this is between us. I don't need you to protect me any more than I need you to prop me up. I don't want that from you. I want a husband, not a caretaker."

"This is who I am, Will. You knew that about me when you fell in love with me. I love you, I want to take care of you."

"There's taking care of someone and then there's threatening the schoolyard bully because he… pushed me over."

"Ben did more than push you over, Will. This is just like it was with Nick. He threatened you and—"

"And you brought a gun into our home, one Gabi used to shoot Nick." Sonny stalled and Will sighed. "My point is, you meant well. You thought it was the right thing to do, I understand that, but it backfired."

"How is this going to backfire?"

"It already has! Rafe knows and—"

"And he offered to look the other way, remember? He gets it. Will, you are surrounded by people who love you, who care for you so much that we will literally do anything for you. And when I try you throw it back at me."

"I am… I am not throwing anything back at you," Will said in exasperation. "I love you, and I won't ever stop you doing what you think is best for me, for us, but I really don't think that you believe this is that. You're angry, Sonny. I know it the way you know about my nightmares. I feel it in your body, when you hold me, when you kiss me, when we're together. You're angry, you're possessive—"

"This is ridiculous," Sonny said. "Can you really blame me for being angry? After everything that happened?"

"Of course not," Will said, "but there should be more going on here than anger."

"Like what?"

"Relief? Joy? We're home, Sonny. We're home and we're together and we have our whole lives ahead of us – again. We can do things right this time, and god knows I'm not going to screw it up again.

"You think I'm not angry at Ben? You think part of me didn't want to knock him into next week when I saw him? But I have a choice, Sonny. I can let that anger fuel me and drive me, or I can choose to focus on something better. You, Arianna, our lives together. I don't want Ben dictating how I live my life and I don't want him dictating yours. I don't want him to have any kind of impact on our future, he's already done enough damage."

"It's not just Ben though," Sonny said. "It's everyone. He got away with it for so long—"

"It's over now," Will said. "Just let him rot. Whatever you had planned, whatever you were going to do to him… don't. Please. For me."

"Will—"

"Don't you get it? Ben was so consumed by his anger and hatred for Chad that he turned into that man, that person who… I don't want you near that path, Sonny. You're better than that. There's only one person in this relationship who's the screw up, and you're not taking that title from me," he added with a soft laugh.

Sonny smiled and dropped his head. "You're not a screw up. You're… you're perfect to me."

"There. That's the man I want to be with. The man I love. Please, Sonny. Don't become him." Will closed the gap between them and pressed a soft kiss to the side of Sonny's mouth. "Besides," he whispered in Sonny's ear as they wrapped their arms around each other. "Surely the constant looking over his shoulder is enough? He'll be expecting something that never comes?"

Sonny laughed softly before pulling Will into a deep kiss. Then, with a sly grin on his face, he grabbed Will's hand and pulled him towards the back stairs.

~~~

Sonny looked up from his coffee as someone sat down across from him. He smiled back at Marlena and took a deep breath as he realised what was coming.

"How are you doing?" she asked.

"No point giving you the line that it wasn't me who's come back from the dead?"

"None at all," she smiled.

"It's… hard. Since Rafe came to see me at the airport after the funeral I've known that Will was alive. And it was hard, keeping it from you all, but I knew."

"You still had to deal with Will's death."

"Not really," Sonny said.

"Why not?"

"I don't follow."

"You still thought he was dead. You were at his funeral, you stood at his graveside. That's powerful in itself."

"I know, but he's alive."

"That's all you're focusing on?"

"What else is there?" Sonny asked. "Last night I woke up, probably still feeling the jet lag. Will was still asleep and I left him to go and check on Ari. She was fast asleep too and I was reminded of this perfect moment."

"A perfect moment?" Marlena asked. "You had one?"

"Yeah, I did," he grinned. "When Arianna was born, when we brought her home. Will was spark out on painkillers of course, and Ari was barely sleeping. It was a moment in between her waking and crying for more milk and I was the only one awake. Ari had fallen asleep in my arms and I was in our room and I sat there, holding Ari and watching Will and that was it, my moment. We'd not even talked about getting married, and there I was, pretty much a dad with this man that I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life in love with.

"And that didn't change, not even at his grave. I still loved him, I would have always loved him."

"No one is saying otherwise."

"But in that moment all I wanted was for Will to get better, for Arianna to be happy—and to stay asleep!—and I finally got why people did this. Had families. I'd never even thought about it before then, didn't even cross my mind with Will at the beginning. But in that moment I was happier than I'd ever been before."

"Even with Paul?"

"Even with Paul. I loved Paul, I cared about him. I still do in a way. He's always going to be the first man that I loved, that I imagined spending my life with. But now it's Will and…" He trailed off, trying to think about how to tactfully say this. "And he's here."

"If he wasn't things would be different, I know," Marlena said. "So. Now you're both here and Will's back at your family home while you're sitting in the club, just like it's a normal day."

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"Because a few days ago everyone here thought Will was dead and you were staying in Paris."

"Things change."

"That they do," she said. "Well. You know where I am when you need to talk."

"When?" Sonny picked up on, but she just smiled at him as she left. Shaking his head he picked up his phone and tapped out another text to Will. He read the reply, an update on the next wave of people "just dropping by" and he smiled. He gathered up the papers from the club and texted Will that help was on its way.

~~~

"Will said you were in here," Gabi said as she walked into the kitchen. "Want a hand?"

"No, I'm fine," Sonny said as he loaded up the tray with various drinks.

"I'm sure you have staff for this," she laughed. "I dropped off some things for Ari. I kinda assumed she'd be staying here a more few days at least."

"We didn't plan—"

"It's OK, Sonny!" she said, cutting off his excuses. "Really. I've never monitored your time with her and I'm not about to start now. In fact, I was wondering what your plans were now that you're back?"

"Plans?"

"Yeah. You, Will, apartment wise? I would have thought a week in the Kiriakis mansion was enough for all of you."

"I… I don't know."

"I'm overstepping, aren't I?" Gabi asked. "Sorry, I just… I assumed that the four of us might get somewhere together."

"It's not that, I promise," Sonny smiled. "It's just… Just trying to adjust."

"Adjust?" Gabi asked, pulling herself up onto one of the breakfast stools.

"I left because I couldn't stand seeing Will everywhere, seeing reminders of him. Turns out they're all still here."

"So is Will," Gabi pointed out.

"And every bit of hurt and pain. I thought being here with him was going to help but…"

"I want to suggest something, and I need you to hear me out before you object," Gabi said. "For a while I couldn't get the image of… finding Will out of my head. I had nightmares, I missed him more than I ever thought I would, and I worried for Arianna growing up without knowing him.

"Then I found somewhere I could find peace, somewhere I could deal with these thoughts and feelings."

"Where?" Sonny asked.

"Will's grave."

"He's not dead."

"I know that now, but all that aside it helped me focus on all the things that you would in that situation. I talked to him the way that I would have if he were here. All the things you do at someone's graveside."

"I don't think that's going to help."

"Really?" she asked. "You're still carrying around all that hurt and pain from before, things you don't feel you can actually talk to Will about because he's here. There were days I went up there and yelled at him for leaving me to raise Arianna on my own, I yelled at him for driving you away sometimes. I yelled at him for not fighting back, for all those times he left the toilet seat up…"

Sonny couldn't help but laugh and he leaned forward, resting his elbows on the counter. "That was frustrating."

"Point is, it helped. And I don't think it will hurt to try."

"Maybe," he smiled. "Now. How about you give me a hand with these?"

"You said you were fine."

"You offered help."

"I've missed you," she smiled, getting off the chair and giving him a hug. Then she picked two glasses from the tray and walked off, leaving Sonny to carry the rest.

When they joined everyone they found that Abby had arrived and was settled at one end of the couch.

"…and he admitted everything," she finished. "Everyone. It was all him."

"It's not your fault," Jennifer said, resting a hand on her daughter's shoulder.

"Wasn't it? He did this because of me, because of me and Chad."

"It was his choice, not yours," Justin said, taking his drink from the tray. "If he tries that defence at the sentencing hearing I'll—"

"You'll what?" Sonny snapped before he could stop himself.

"What?" Justin asked.

"Pursue it with the same vendetta you did Chad?" he said. "Blindly, without considering anything else? What if he did do this because of her? What if all of this is because Abby was stupid enough to cheat on Ben?"

"Sonny—" Will started.

"You think it's her fault?" Jennifer asked.

"I think she started it. You cheated on him, you slept with Chad and you started this. Just doing what you want without a second thought to the people it would hurt."

"Like me?" Will asked, getting to his feet. "Is this about me?"

"This is about her, about the choices she made. You know what that's like; you tried to manipulate things with Paul because you were worried about the choice I would make. But none of that would have happened without the initial action."

"Like you keeping Paul a secret from me?" Will challenged. "Kissing him? If I'd chosen to react like Ben would you accept people blaming you?"

"A kiss is a little different to actually sleeping with someone else. It was a clear choice she made, one that got even more complicated when she found out she was pregnant. Ben was always jealous, always possessive. She knew that when she was with him, she knew that when she slept with him. What did she think would happen?"

"Not this!" Abby protested. "I had no idea—"

"No, you just went along with my dad's blind vendetta that it was Chad, you never once stopped to think who it was who could be setting him up. You even believed that Chad could have killed Will!"

"OK, enough now," Justin said, reaching out and trying to put a hand on Sonny's shoulder. It was instantly shrugged off. "This is not the time or place."

"No, of course it's not," Sonny mocked. "It never is the time or the place to be honest about how you feel. Better to just push things away, let them build up. Buy a job lot of ties and frame someone for murder."

"Sonny—" Gabi began, but he ignored her and walked off.

~~~

His anger had surprised him, but after the outburst he did feel a little lighter. All the things that had been building up were now out in the open and at least he could decide what to do next. His decision of where to go next almost surprised him had Gabi's conversation not been so clear and recent in his mind. In a way going to see Will's grave was a curiosity. His "return from the dead" was headline news, and so Sonny wondered what would happen with the box they'd buried, the plaque they'd laid in the ground in his memory. Would they both be removed? What would happen to them?

As he drew near the plot his feet stalled and for the first time he questioned his actions.

"This is stupid," he muttered to himself.

Just as he'd convinced himself to go back and apologise he heard a noise behind him. Turning around he came face to face with the same person he'd last seen in this same place.

"Hi Sonny," Paul smiled.


	14. Chapter 14

In the wake of Sonny's outburst and departure, everyone rallied around Abby to reassure her that it wasn't her fault, she wasn't responsible for Ben's actions, and that Sonny clearly wasn't thinking straight. Will took no part in this, but followed Gabi out to a quiet room.

"You need to find him," she said.

"What just happened?"

"Have you two talked about your death?"

"No, he didn't want to. Wouldn't even let me say the word most of the time."

"Well that explains his anger," she said. "All of that, he's thought it, believed it, and not dealt with any of it. When you add that to the fact he's not happy being back—"

"He's not happy?" Will interrupted. "When did he say that?"

"…Just before all that," Gabi admitted, waving her hand in the direction they'd come from. "You need to find him, make him talk about things."

"You say 'find him' like it's easy. He could be anywhere. Hell, if he hates being back he could be halfway to the airport."

"Actually, I think I might know…"

~~~

"I heard."

With those two words Paul set the scene. Sonny nodded and pushed his hands into his jeans pockets and walked over to the stone set in the ground.

"I guess they're going to remove it now," Paul said in the absence of any contribution from Sonny. "Can’t have a grave for a man who's alive."

Sonny still said nothing and remained focused on the simple words in front of him. William Robert Horton. Born November 16, 1992. Died October 9, 2015.

"I can go," Paul said.

"Why are you here?" Sonny asked.

"I… I saw you. I wanted to come and see you, talk to you, but I didn’t know how it'd go down if I just turned up at the house. I was going to wait but when I saw… Well. It was an opportunity. I can go if you'd prefer?"

"No, stay," Sonny said, finally turning to look at Paul. "I think we should talk."

"Not entirely sure what there is to say. Now that I'm here, all the ideas I had…"

"I know the feeling," Sonny said with a small smile. "All that time in Paris I thought that it would easy to come back. We'd settle back into our lives and all would be fine. We'd be fine."

"But you're not?"

"No. I'm not," Sonny agreed. "I had to leave because I couldn't deal with being here without him, and now I'm here with him and nothing's changed. I still want to run away. When he… when I thought he was dead my entire self was pulled apart. Everything I wanted, everything I had built my life around? It was gone. I didn't care what he'd done, what had happened between us, with you, before you. All I wanted was him."

"And now you have him," Paul said sadly.

"Paul…" Sonny couldn't help but see how he was feeling and his anger subsided a little into guilt. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"That I can't give you what you want from me," Sonny said.

"Irony at its finest, right?" Paul said. "I couldn't give you what you wanted once, now look at us."

"Maybe things—"

"Don't tell me that things could have been different. You don't know that. You love Will, Sonny, you always have. And even if he was dead that wouldn't change. I'd have to deal with a ghost, with a part of you always belonging to someone else. And I don't know if you'd really be able to be happy like that."

"Like what?"

"You're an all-or-nothing man," Paul explained. "You don't settle for less or parts of something. You want everything, and so you should. Maybe there wouldn't have been enough room for me."

"Maybe we could have tried," Sonny offered.

"Would you have been over Will enough to do that?"

"I… I don't know."

"Well right now you don't need to know, and I'm happy for you, Sonny. Really I am."

"Is that what you wanted to tell me?"

"I don't know," Paul admitted. "But right now it is what I want to say. You know how I feel about you, but I do respect you. You and Will… I hope you have a good, long life together."

"Thank you," Sonny said. "Paul, I… I still, I mean, there's a part of me that will always—"

"I know," Paul said, preventing Sonny from saying out loud. "Me too. But I'm not the one for you."

"Maybe I'm not the one for you then," Sonny offered. "If there is such a thing as a one for everyone."

"Maybe," Paul smiled. "Hopefully I'll find out one day."

Sonny nodded, and then turned back to the grave at his feet.

"Can I say something though?" Paul added as Sonny knelt in the damp grass. "Life is far too short to spend it somewhere you're not happy. And if you can't find a way to be happy here then find somewhere else. I'm not saying it to get rid of you, but if you and Will were happy in Paris then what's stopping you going back? If you hate being in Salem then why stay? What's keeping you here?"

"Arianna," Sonny said quietly. "How can Will leave her?"

"I… I'm sorry," Paul decided on.

"You know what the worst thing is?" Sonny said, not even looking up. "I don't know why I'm so angry. I am so mad at my dad for not bothering to look beyond the DiMera name, for Abby for being so… so _stupid_. I'm even mad at Chad because he will have goaded Ben and played a part in this mess. All of these stupid arguments and rivalries and bad decisions and Will could have died because of it. I thought he did die because of it."

"It's like a set of dominoes," Paul said. "Knock one down and it starts off something much bigger."

"And it's not any one domino's fault but at the same time… I'm even mad at myself for leaving in the first place. If I'd stayed—"

"Will still could have been attacked. And if what I heard from Dad is right then if you were here you'd have given Will something to fight for and Ben something to defeat. Will giving up is what saved him, so in a way you leaving him saved him."

"You've been hanging out with Marlena too much."

"She's a smart woman," Paul grinned. "And I'm right."

"Will said as much too."

"He's smart as well."

"So many smart people in my life, any of you want to tell me what I should do next?"

"Nope, not that stupid," Paul said. "But I will suggest that you talk to someone. Will at least."

"You're suggesting I need therapy?"

"I'm suggesting that you don't bottle things up. Maybe I'll see you around."

"Maybe," Sonny said. He didn't watch Paul leave but when he became aware of a presence he knew it wasn't him.

"Now this is weird," Will said, looking down at his own grave. "This is all we're reduced to in the end. A plaque in the dirt."

"You were more than that," Sonny said, getting to his feet, "you still are."

"Are you OK?"

"No," Sonny admitted. "But I shouldn't have run out like that. Or said the things I did."

"I don't care about that. I want you to be OK."

"P—" Sonny stopped as he realised that his comment needed introduction. "Paul was just here. He saw me, followed me. We talked. He said the same thing."

"I know," Will said calmly. "I… may have arrived a little while ago."

"And you just watched us?"

"You needed that conversation. Both of you. He's your first love, Sonny, and that's not going to go away."

Sonny narrowed his eyes a little. "You've changed your tune."

"Death will do that to a guy," he joked, and stopped when he saw Sonny flinch. "You're literally standing on my grave and you still can't deal with the fact that I died."

"It's not really your grave and you didn't die."

"My name is on the stone and I'm pretty certain Rafe has medical records showing that I was clinically dead for a bit."

"Are we really arguing about this?"

"If it gets you to accept it, sure," Will said. "And Paul's right. You need to talk to someone."

"Maybe," Sonny said, holding out a hand to Will. "But first I think I need to talk to Abby. Apologise."

"No one is saying she made good choices, and lord knows I'm in no position to judge her," Will said pressing his forehead against Sonny's, "but it's not her fault."

"I know."

"Do you need a minute? We don't have to go just now, or I can leave you and—"

"No, don't," Sonny said quickly, wrapping his arms around Will and holding on tightly. "Don't leave me."

"Not planning on it," Will said into Sonny's shoulder.

"I love you. You're my heart, Will. Don't forget that."

"I know. I won't."

~~~

"I don't think I will ever get tired of this sight," Marlena smiled. "You and Arianna."

"She's going back to Gabi's tonight," Will whined, pressing a kiss into Ari's hair. She was sitting happily in his lap, turning the pages of her book and just enjoying being close to her daddy again. "This last week has been… I missed her, of course I did, but it wasn't until I came back that I realised how much."

"Parenthood is like that. And speaking of…"

"Mom," Will laughed.

"Using me as an excuse not to spend time with her."

"I love her, I do, and I get what she's been through. It's just… already I've had enough. I'm actually half convinced she's going to tell me she's moving back!"

"You have to cut her some slack," Marlena said.

"I know, I know," Will said. "I just… I needed a break. Is that wrong?"

"Not at all."

"And besides, I may have had another motive than avoidance."

"Sonny?"

"You are _far_ too good at this," Will laughed. "Can you talk to him?"

"Does he want to talk to me?"

"He knows he needs to talk, and we've talked about… talking," he laughed. "Since we got back he's been so angry and wound up, and even though he apologised to Abby it's still awkward."

"It will be. From what I hear it was… heartfelt."

"And so not like him. I'm worried. Everyone has been focused on me; I've had no shortage of opportunities to talk about what happened, how I feel… But who does Sonny have? He would only talk to me a little in Paris but there were things that were off limits. Like any mention of my 'death'."

"Understandable."

"Yeah, but bottling it up isn't."

"I can't make him talk to me," Marlena said.

"Can we just try?"

"I won't just drop in on him, I can't put him in that position. If he's really willing to talk then he can come and see me at the office."

"Thank you, Grandma," he said as his phone chimed. "Ah, speak of the devil."

"That's the fourth text he's sent you this morning."

"We text all the time. It was weird being in Paris, not having a cell of my own."

"And what is it this time? The first was asking how the park was, the second was checking on Arianna being warm enough, and the third was, let me see…"

"OK, fine, you've made your point."

"Does he do this a lot?" When Will nodded she did too. "Don't reply."

"What?"

"What would happen if you didn't reply?"

"I… I don't know."

"But you're not sure?"

"Why would I want to do that to him?"

"Do what to him? How is not replying doing something to him? I remember times when you wouldn't reply to me for _hours_ and not once did I feel the need to… call you," she said as Will's phone sprung into life.

"This is… It doesn't mean…"

"If you can't convince yourself then how are you going to convince me?"

"Hey, Sonny," Will answered, shooting a look of 'I know' at Marlena as he did so.


	15. Chapter 15

"I get it," Sonny said. "I'm being overprotective, I'm angry at… everyone, and even though both Will and Gabi have mentioned looking at apartments for all of us the idea of settling down here just… it makes my skin crawl."

"That's quite astute of you," Marlena said.

"So what am I doing about it? That's the next question, right?"

"And what's the answer?"

"One that isn't going to work. I used to see Will everywhere, now I see him gone everywhere. I keep remembering my life without him, that hole in my heart when I thought he was gone. When he doesn't reply to my texts my first thought isn't that he's busy or that he's got no signal, it's that something has happened."

"That sounds natural after everything."

"No, it's not. I have never been the possessive type. I don't want to be the possessive type. I'm not his keeper and we have no chance of rebuilding our marriage if he can't take two steps outside without me worrying myself sick. I thought that if anything it would be that I would wonder who he was with because I didn't trust him."

"But you do?"

"Completely."

"And the anger?"

"What happened was… it was Ben's fault, it was all him, but I can't help but see all the things that got us there. Abby cheating on Ben, Chad winding Ben up. Dad being so damn pig-headed. And Will was alone, in that apartment. He gave up because he thought that I didn't want him, that I didn't love him enough for me to be something he could fight for. And I know that in a twisted way that saved him, I get that. But he felt like that and it was my fault and I never want him to feel like that again."

"Why would he?" Marlena asked.

"Because the only thing, the _only _thing that I can think of to fix everything else is going to do just that."__

__~~~_ _

__"Sonny wants to leave," Will told Gabi. "He can't stay here; it's too much for him."_ _

__"So you're going?"_ _

__"No," Will said. "I can't leave Arianna, and he knows that."_ _

__"Wait, what?"_ _

__"He can't stay, I can't leave. I'm pretty sure that's clear."_ _

__"So what does that mean for your marriage?"_ _

__"You know, I'm not entirely sure if we have a marriage," Will said. "There's so much legal grey areas around my… resurrection. Some of the stuff is pretty simple, but our marriage was over when I was legally declared dead. Me coming back might not change that."_ _

__"And what does Sonny think about that?"_ _

__"He doesn't know," Will said. "I don't want it to affect his decision."_ _

__"I don't understand. Do you want him to leave?"_ _

__"Of course not. I want him to decide on what's right for him. What's going on with me is—"_ _

__"Relevant," Gabi protested._ _

__"How?"_ _

__"Sonny loves you, he wants to be with you. And maybe if he finds out he's not legally married he will want to do something about it."_ _

__"He will," Will said. "He'll think that it matters to put it right and he won't be thinking about himself. I want him to decide what's best for him."_ _

__"Even if it means him in Paris and you here? Sorry, but isn't part of the issue that he's constantly checking up on you? How will that work if you're in different countries?"_ _

__"I don't know. But he knows I'll stay. So if he chooses to go then he knows… he knows what it means."_ _

__"How are you OK with this?"_ _

__"I'm not," Will said quietly. "I don't want him to go, of course I don't. I wish that he could stay, I wish that we could have a life, here, together, all of us."_ _

__"You know there is a third option," Gabi said._ _

__"I thought you couldn't leave the country, conditions of your release?"_ _

__"Something a little simpler than that, idiot," Gabi laughed._ _

__~~~_ _

__Sonny knocked tentatively at the study door. "You wanted to see me, Uncle Vic?"_ _

__"Yes, come in. Sit down," Victor said, indicating the chair opposite him._ _

__"Why do I get the feeling that I've just been summoned to the principal's office and I'm in trouble?"_ _

__"Because you are," Victor said. "What's this I hear about you heading back to Paris?"_ _

__"What?"_ _

__"Apparently you're going back to Pairs," Victor clarified, "alone."_ _

__"That's… an idea."_ _

__"Why?"_ _

__"I don’t understand."_ _

__"Will's alive, Ben's locked up. Why would you want to leave your life here and go back to Paris?"_ _

__"It's complicated."_ _

__"I'm an intelligent man, Sonny, I'm sure I can understand complicated if you go slowly enough,” Victor deadpanned._ _

__"I'm sorry," Sonny said. "I just… I can't stand being here. There are still so many memories."_ _

__"So you're running. Again."_ _

__"It's not that."_ _

__"It is," Victor corrected. "I understood before, you'd just lost Will. The pain, the hurt? Of course you wanted to run. Who wouldn't? But what are you running from now? Your father? Abigail? Ben?"_ _

__"All of the above?" Sonny offered._ _

__"I never thought you were a quitter," Victor said, his disappointment clear._ _

__"That's not what this is," Sonny protested._ _

__"Yes, it is. You can't deal with a little bit of anger and so you run away, even if it means running away from Will."_ _

__"I thought you didn't like him much."_ _

__"How I feel about him isn't the issue here. You love him."_ _

__"More than anything."_ _

__"And yet you're leaving him."_ _

__"You helped me to do that the first time."_ _

__"When your marriage was a mess and you staying only made things worse. You needed a break, but of course that break left Will all alone and at Ben's mercy. So why don't you hate me?"_ _

__"I could never hate you, Uncle Vic."_ _

__"Why not? I pushed you to leave, I set it up so all you had to do was say yes and that was it." He clicked his fingers. "You were gone and Will was alone."_ _

__"And it ended up saving him," Sonny said. "I don't want to argue with you about this, Uncle Vic. Me going back to Paris—"_ _

__"Is off the table," Victor interrupted._ _

__"What? How? Why?"_ _

__"Because you're fired."_ _

__"What?"_ _

__"Sonny, I'm not being complicated. You're fired. There is no longer a job waiting for you in Paris. I will of course compensate you in lieu of notice, but as of now you're done."_ _

__"Why?" Sonny asked. "Business is up, I have done everything you asked me to do and then some."_ _

__"If you don't understand why then you're stupider than I thought," Victor said, getting to his feet. "Why did you go to Paris in the first place?"_ _

__"You needed someone to bring the business into line."_ _

__"And why did _you_ go?"_ _

__"Because—" Sonny started, but he stopped when he realised. "Because of Will."_ _

__"I understood your need to run then, but what's your excuse now?"_ _

__"I can't stay—"_ _

__"You don't want to," Victor said. "And what does Will have to say in all of this?"_ _

__"He hasn’t spoken to me about it."_ _

__"Have you spoken to him?" Victor's question was seemingly answered by the sound of a door opening and Will calling out for Sonny. "Maybe now's your chance."_ _

__"Sonny, I… I'm interrupting," Will said as he walked into the study. "I'll come back."_ _

__"You have something to say, say it," Victor said. "I'm sure it'll be interesting."_ _

__"Sonny, can we talk?"_ _

__"Talk here," Victor said._ _

__"Don't go back to Paris," Will said to Sonny. "I know you're struggling, I know you're angry, and I know you don’t want to be here. But don't go back to Paris, please. Don’t leave me."_ _

__"Let me get this straight," Victor interrupted. "You cheat on Sonny, twice. You break his heart. You make it impossible for him to stay here in the first place and now you're asking him to stay somewhere he doesn't want to. To give up everything?"_ _

__"I know you don't like me very much," Will said, "but with all due respect this isn't your decision. I love him—"_ _

__"So much that you cheated on him? Twice?"_ _

__"And you're so perfect?" Will rounded on Victor. "I know I'm not perfect, far from it."_ _

__"You need him to make yourself feel better—"_ _

__"I don't _need_ him," Will said. "I'm OK without him, but he makes me better. I have to better for him because that's what he deserves. I'm not a kid anymore, I'm not making those mistakes again. I don't need Sonny and that's a good thing. I don't need him to hold me up or reassure me every day. I don't need him to stop me screwing up. But I want him there. Here. I want him here if that's what he wants but more than that I want him to be happy. I know I can make him happy, and I know we can have a good life together. I hope it's a great life but… well… I'm still me._ _

__"And I know he loves the me that I am. I know he loves me as much as I love him and I'm pretty sure we can make a go of this. If I didn't think I could do this, if I wasn't certain of this, us, me? But I am so I'm saying it. And it's his choice. It will always be his choice if he wants to be with me or not, if he is going to be mine._ _

__"But I'm always going to be his. If he wants me. Wants this, I mean. I just wanted him to know there's a choice and whatever he wants I will honour for as long as I'm breathing."_ _

__"What choice?" Sonny asked._ _

__"Gabi and I have spent the afternoon online looking at houses within an hour of Salem. Homes we can build together, towns, cities with businesses we can build, places I can write for. I've narrowed it down to three," he said, throwing a folder onto the desk, "but we can go back to the original list if you want. I don't know if it's just Salem or if it's more than that, but if there's another option to you in Paris and me here then… Then isn't it worth looking at?"_ _

__"What if I want Paris," Sonny said, moving so he was standing in front of Will, "and what if I want you to come with me?"_ _

__"I want to," Will said softly. "I would go anywhere with you. But Arianna…"_ _

__"But you'd move away?"_ _

__"One hour. I could still see her every day if I wanted to, she's old enough to come and stay for a few days. Maybe what you're feeling is only temporary, that once we've worked through it all we could come back. But if not then at least we're still together."_ _

__"Can you really offer him everything that he had in Paris?" Victor challenged. "Successful businesses? Secure income?"_ _

__"No," Will said, missing the smile that crossed Sonny's face in the knowledge that he'd had that option removed, "but I'm hoping that this… compromise is enough."_ _

__"Enough for what?" Sonny asked._ _

__"To tempt you away from Paris? To stay. With me."_ _

__"But you want to be with Ari… you missed her…"_ _

__"I missed you," Will shrugged._ _

__"I missed you too," Sonny whispered._ _

__"I know I don't deserve you, Sonny, but—"_ _

__"Enough now," Sonny said, pulling Will into a kiss. "Show me these houses."_ _

__"You're sure?"_ _

__"Completely," Sonny grinned._ _

__Will glanced over at Victor who just shrugged. "My nephew makes his own mind up."_ _

__"Yes he does," Sonny agreed._ _


	16. Epilogue

Coming down from his orgasm, Will laughed as Sonny held him close, burying his face in his Will's chest. "What did I do to deserve that?"

"What?" Sonny mumbled, pressing kisses across Will's chest.

"That… that was… yeah," Will laughed. "Reminded me of our hotel stay."

"Well, I'd just got you back," Sonny reminded him. "Nothing like thinking you'd lost someone…"

"You didn't lose me, not this time," Will said, staying in Sonny's lap and running his hands through his hair.

"Would you have let me go? Leave for Paris?"

Will shrugged as best he could in the intimate setting. "If it was what you wanted."

"What about what you want?"

"I want you to be happy."

"You make me happy," Sonny said, his hand moving to rest on Will's chest. He watched it rise and fall with the last of Will's heavy breathing and Sonny spread his fingers across Will's skin. "More than I can put into words."

"What if this doesn't fix things?"

"Your grandmother thinks all I need is time, space to deal with things. Keep talking things through." Sonny's hand stilled over Will's heart. "Like we did."

"Are we OK?" Will asked, his voice suddenly small and unsure. "You know I won't—"

"I trust you," Sonny whispered. "Will…" He sighed, shifting a little to indicate that Will should move. Once they were settled side by side and Sonny's fingertips traced the line of Will's cheekbone. "I just want to spend the rest of my life with my husband."

"About that—"

"You think I didn't know? I think Dad was trying to get back on my good side after… Anyway. Declaring someone not-dead can be a little tricky, but ultimately it comes down to what people want for some things. Like our marriage. So it was simple: did I still want to be your husband?"

"You said yes, right?" Will asked, his eyes narrowing a little as his mouth curled up at one corner.

"I think my exact words to the judge were, 'If you try and tell me he's not my husband then I'll drag Will down here so you can remarry us immediately'."

"Drag me down to the courthouse?" Will laughed. "How very… possessive."

"You are mine," Sonny said, his hand finding Will's and lacing their fingers together, palm to palm, "just as I am yours. Even if you don't need me," he added flippantly.

"You know what I mean," Will said. "I mean it. When you first went to Paris I had to learn how to be me, to be there for Arianna. It was hard, took a lot of work and a lot of looking at myself."

"Doesn't mean I'm not still going to be there if you need me."

"I know," Will smiled. "Guess this really will be a fresh start for us."

"Are you sure you… Being so far from Arianna? Is this what you want—?"

"I would rather be an hour from her than thousands of miles from you."

"You can't put me above her—"

"I'm putting my family first," Will corrected. "We are still her parents, and we still get to be. Plenty of parents don't live in the same town as their kids and make arrangements."

"This from the man who couldn't bear the idea of Gabi moving to New York."

"You agreed to come with me," Will pointed out. "We are a family, and we can make this work."

Sonny smiled, nodded slightly, and moved so that he could curl in to Will's side. He lay his head in the curve of Will's shoulder. He rested his ear against the side of Will's chest, listening to the thud of his heart, while his chest rose and fell with every breath.

~~~

Things will not be easy, nor will they be perfect right away. But Will and Sonny will know that they love each other enough to find a way to work through it all, and that knowledge will be affirmed in everything that comes next. Even if, in that night, they have no idea what that would be.

They will continue to see professionals, individually and sometimes together. There will be a time when Sonny is no longer angry, but by then they will be settled and happy in their new lives and so Salem and Paris will just become places they used to live. Will will keep checking in with his therapist, but as the years go on there will be more and more time between visits. The times they will go together will unnerve them in the first instance, then it will reassure them that they are doing something about it, doing something about _them_.

There will be all the arguments that will suddenly fade away when they finally find a home with spare rooms for Gabi and Arianna and the parents who would come and stay, occasionally without notice. Some of the biggest arguments will come in a time when Sonny will get sick, really sick, and Will will have to trick him into coming to the emergency department by claiming that Arianna is the one who is sick.

It will be at its worst when Will is involved in a serious car accident and Sonny will sit by his bedside, holding his hand, and begging whoever might be listening for more time. He will bargain with the universe, understand that he is lucky for the time they have had until now, but he's still not ready to say goodbye.

It will be at its best when Will opens his eyes.

They will be surprised when Gabi moves closer, but they will never convince her to move in. Some things won't happen, no matter how hard they try. Their lives will grow, they will fill their house with more family than they had ever planned on. And a cat, which will forever be the bane of Will's life as she will never let him write anything without trying to nap on the keyboard or his lap or on his notes. He will miss her more than anyone when she gets too sick to carry on.

They will learn to be their own people, and they will never stop learning how to be a couple. They will go back to Paris, and Sonny's French will have improved. They will go to all the places that they couldn't when they were there before, and there will be an old woman in a café who will be so happy to see them so happy. Sonny will kiss his husband by the Seine and he will say that this is the new best moment of his life for no other reason than he is completely happy. 

Then a new worst will come when one of their children gets sick and then is gone in the space of a weekend and suddenly they realise that sometimes grief takes the form of an animal that attacks and hurts like nothing else in this world. It will throw up memories long buried and it will rip into their souls. They will be unable to breathe sometimes for the pain, unable to see for the grief, but Sonny will cling to Will and Will will cling to Sonny and they will hold their living children to them and take it one day at a time.

There will be great moments, moments in weddings and births and parties and successes. In businesses and awards and simple moments of love and laughter. They will have moments that no one else will ever know about, moments which take their breath away and make everything feel new and old and everything in between all at once.

There will be moments when the cracks in Sonny's heart are not even visible under stress or strain and there will be moments when they open and hurt pours into them in a way that reminds him of Will's attack. There will be moments when Will doubts himself but he will pull himself up. He will become his own man, his own person, and he will learn. (As will Sonny.)

One of those moments will be just before Paul's wedding, where Sonny wonders what could have been. Will will have his own moment too, wondering if he's still enough for Sonny. They will avoid their past mistakes, be open, be honest. They will still fight and argue as the years go on and there will be a few nights where one of them sleeps in the spare room. It will not be perfect, but it will be OK. Some days it will be more than OK.

There will be the moment they dreaded the most, the moment when Ben will be set free, his time served. Will will jump at noises, Sonny will come home to find that there is no longer a single tie in their home (and he will say nothing, having half expected it). Their children will rally around their fathers and even though they will never hear from or see Ben again in some ways it will never go away. (Sonny will speak to Uncle Vic the day after Ben is released. Actually, he will call, say nothing more than, “I need your help” and then Victor will simply acknowledge it and hang up. Ben's disappearance will not surprise Sonny in the slightest. Sonny will never tell his husband, but he will know because Will knows who he's married to.)

They will have a life that many will envy, many will want, some will hate. They will deal with the bigotry that comes from ignorance and they will teach their children who will teach their children to be better. They will be a small symbol of hope in their community and they will be happy with that.

Perhaps, most importantly, there will be life. 

And they will know all this was worth it when it all does come to an end for them as a pair, when one of them finally breathes their last. But it won't be in a dark apartment on a cold floor with thousands of miles between their bodies and a gulf between their hearts.

They knew none of what was coming in that night in the Kiriakis mansion, curled up around each other and talking about potential homes and possible businesses and how they will ensure they see as much of Arianna as they can. They only know that everything is possible in this life. They have learned that, learned how to survive: take one breath at a time.


End file.
